Game of Thrones
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOGame of Thrones Quotes
Tyrion: Do you think I'm plump? Listen, Benjen, may I call you Benjen?
Benjen: Call me what you like.
Tyrion: I'm not sure what I've done to offend you. I have great admiration for the Night's Watch, and for you as First Ranger.
Benjen: You know my brother once told me? That nothing someone says before the word but really counts.
Tyrion: But, I don't believe that giants and ghouls and white walkers are lurking beyond the wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.
Tyrion: And how do a bear's balls taste?
Yoren: A bit chewy. What about you, milord. What's the strangest thing you've eaten?
Tyrion: Do Dornish girls count?
King Robert: Your outlaw, any last words?
Jaime: I cut his head off, so, no.
King Robert: What about Aerys Targaryen? What did the Mad King say when you stabbed him in the back? I never asked. Did he call you a traitor? Did he plead for a reprieve.
Jaime: He said the same thing he'd been saying for hours. Burn them all. If that's all, your Grace.
The boy won't talk. And if he does, I'll kill him. Him, Ned Stark, the King, the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world.
Jaime
Cersei: How could you be so stupid?
Jaime: Calm down.
Cersei: He's a child. Ten years old. What were you thinking?
Jaime: I was thinking of us. You're a bit late to start complaining about it now. What has the boy told them?
Cersei: Nothing. He's said nothing, he remembers nothing.
Jaime: Then what are you raving about?
Cersei: What if it comes back to him, he tells his father what happened.
Jaime: We'll say he was lying, we'll say he was dreaming, we'll say whatever we want to say. I think we can outfox a ten year old.
Tyrion: I'm looking at you. Yes, you. You've got an interesting face. Very distinctive faces, all of them.
Grenn: What do you care about our faces?
Tyrion: I think they would look marvelous decorating spikes in King's Landing. Perhaps I'll write my sister, the queen, about them.
Tell me, if I stabbed the Mad King is the belly instead of the back, would you admire me more?
Jaime
Jaime: It must be strange for you, coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father, too. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that.
Ned: But you just stood here and watched.
Jaime: Five hundred men stood here and watched. All the great knights of the seven kingdoms. Do you think anyone said a word, lifted a finger? No, Lord Stark, 500 men and this room was silent as a crypt. Except for the screams, of course, and the Mad King laughing. And, later, when I watched the Mad King die, I remembered him laughing as your father burned. It felt like justice.
Ned: Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it.
Jaime: People have been swinging at me for years, they always seem to miss.
Ned: You've chosen your opponents wisely.
Jaime: I have a knack for it.
Everythings better with some wine in the belly.
Tyrion
Tyrion: A bastard boy with nothing to inherit, off to join the ancient order of the Night's Watch. Alongside his valiant brothers in arms.
Jon: The Night's Watch protects the realm from..
Tyrion: Ah, ah, yes, yes,against grumpkins and snarks and all the
other monsters your wet nurse warned you about. You're a smart boy, you don't believe that nonsense.
Tyrion: Ah...rapers. They were given a choice, no doubt. Castration or the Wall. Most choose the knife. Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the Watch. You discard your old family and get a whole new one.
Jon: Why do you read so much?
Tyrion: Look at me and tell me what you see.
Jon: Is this a trick?
Tyrion: What you see is a dwarf. If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years.
Jon: Until your brother killed that King.
Tyrion: Yes, until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new King, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has a sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.
