I'm just a big, fat, Wookie-humping loser.

Rory

Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.

I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.

Lorelai

Emily: Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried.
Lorelai: Another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
Lorelai: Mom, you-you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous.
Emily: No, dear, that was a joke.

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.

Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Michel Gerard

Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

Rory: I wish I could figure out a way to get Paris off my back.
Lorelai: Yeah, angry chicks are the worst. When I was in high school I had a Paris.
Rory: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah, she was horrible.
Rory: How'd you get rid of her?
Lorelai: I got pregnant and dropped out.

Jimmy: When you left home, were the cops after you?
Jess: No.
Jimmy: No cause they shouldn't be, or no cause they haven't found the head yet?

Emily: So, she's meeting you here?
Lorelai: Yeah, she had a thing after school, a rumble or something. She said she'd be over after.
Emily: A rumble?
Lorelai: Yeah, a bunch of kids meet in an alley, they pirouette, they pull knives, it's a whole to-do.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.

Luke: It's me Harry, Luke. You've known me since I was 5 years old.
Mayor: Oh, Luke, yes. Sit down.