Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 11: "Paris Is Burning" Quotes
Rory: So she stopped cleaning it's cage. Instead everyday she would stuff some Kleenex in there.
Luke: You didn't?
Lorelai: It was the quilted kind.
Rory: So. this keeps going on and the cage is just a cage full of Kleenex that moves a little, and the smell? Really good.
Luke: I can imagine.
Lorelai: Oh. no you can't.
Lorelai: (reading the sign on a puppy's kennel) "Buttercup was found cold and wet, hovering under a hydrangea bush along Highway 26." It's a sad highway!
Rory: As compared to all the happy highways she could've been abandoned by?
Lorelai: Why are you smiling like that?
Emily: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: You're smiling.
Emily: I'm happy.
Lorelai: That's not your 'I'm happy smile.'
Emily: Well, then what smile is it Lorelai?
Lorelai: It's your 'I've got something on Lorelai smile.'
Lorelai: Rory, your mother must be very tired.
Rory: She works a lot.
Lorelai: I grew up with that smile. I know that smile.
Emily: (to Rory) Tell me about school.
Rory: Well, my French final went pretty well.
Lorelai: You can change the subject. I know the smile.
Emily: Whatever you say, dear.
Lorelai: I used it a few times myself.
Rory: Mom...
Emily: (to Rory) So tell me about Parents' day.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: Parents' day. Next Wednesday. When all the parents are supposed to go to class with their children all day long.
Lorelai: The Chilton newsletter came out today!
Rory: Yep.
Lorelai: Right.
Emily: You didn't read yours?
Lorelai: Not yet.
Emily: Ah...
Lorelai: But you knew that.
Emily: Well...
Lorelai: Hence the smile.
Lorelai: She's never really referred to anyone I've dated by their first name, before, I've always kept her out of that part of my life, so, it was like the 'mustache guy' , the 'earring guy', the ... (struggles) 'peg-leg guy'...
Max: Oh, so you've a thing for pirates...?
Rory: Were you kissing him?
Lorelai: (surprised) What?
Rory: Mr. Medina! Just Now! Were you kissing him!?
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: What the hell is wrong with you?
Lorelai: I don't know.
Rory: You said you were breaking up with him!
Lorelai: I was!
Rory: I know I told you to be nice, but this was a little extreme, don't cha think?
Lorelai: Who shows up at eight o'clock for an eight o'clock date?
Rory: I dunno, maybe a Chilton teacher?
Lorelai: Everybody knows that eight o'clock means eight-twenty, eight-fifteen, tops!
Rory: Well, obviously, he was raised in a barn.
Lorelai: I'll tell you, he's cute but this punctuality thing has knocked 10 points off his Dream Guy quotient.
Lorelai: I want a pet.
Rory: You have me!
Lorelai: You won't bring me my slippers in the morning.
Rory: I might if you had slippers.
Lorelai: Will you wear a collar?
Rory: No!
Lorelai: It'll be pink!
Rory: You're sick.
Lorelai: Hey, watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy.
Rory: Every time Mom stuck her finger in his cage, he'd bite her.
Lorelai: And laugh.
Luke: Hamsters can't laugh.
Lorelai: Oh, this one laughed - trust me.
Paris: I wish my mother would sleep with my teachers, it would make midterms a lot easier.
Rory : (stands up, fuming) Madeline, Louise, would you excuse us for a minute?
Madeline: Ooh, cat fight.
(After Rory tells Paris that she did also hurt Mr. Medina when she told everybody about the kiss)
Paris: I do like Mr. Medina.
Rory: Well I'd take some dance lessons because the way you express yourself needs a little work.
Paris: I just didn't want people talking about me anymore.
(with Max in his classroom, arguing about whether or not they should be together) What are we, in high school? Well I know we're in high school...
Lorelai
Max: Not only are you breaking up with me, you're doing it really badly.
Lorelai: Am I being graded?
Max: No, I'm a little disappointed. I would've expected a little better dumping from you.
Lorelai: I just need space.
Max: Well, I don't. In fact, I want as little space as possible. A hundred clowns crammed into a Volkswagen, that's the kind of non-space I'm talking about.
