Gilmore Girls Quotes
Rory: Ok, what's the packing crisis?
Lorelai: That's the thing. I have no packing crisis. For the first time in my life, there is no packing crisis.
(in Lorelai's flashback as she's being wheeled to the delivery room)
Emily: You're having a baby. Do you know that Lorelai?
Young Lorelai: Well that explains the stomach ache.
Rory: (very sleepy) You set my alarm for 5:15 AM.
Lorelai: I know, and I did it for purely practical reasons.
Rory: Which are?
Lorelai: My alarm is just not as reliable as your scream.
Paris: (to Rory) Don't make that face at me!
Rory: What face? I'm wearing a mask.
Paris: The "I'm Rory, don't you want to pet me?" face.
Clara: Yes. Will you go get me a snow cone?
Jess: Absolutely. Go stand in the middle of the street and wait for me, I'll be right back.
Emily: I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call.
Lorelai: No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine.
Emily: Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up.
(Lorelai and Emily are talking about the broken button on Emily's skirt)
Emily: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt.
Lorelai: Mom, let me see.
Emily: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do?
Lorelai: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk.
Rory: What is that stuff?
Lane: Eggless egg salad. Though this year my mom added food coloring to make the egg-like product look more eggy.
Rory: Smart.
Lane: And every sandwich comes with your own personal pamphlet "Dancing for the Devil", an illustrated look at the effect of dancing on your chances of spending all eternity in hell.
Rory: Boy, her flames are getting really good.
Lane: Well, she just bought a new color printer. You can do a ton of stuff with it.
Luke Danes: [about Jess' new car] He paid you for it, right?
Gypsy: Nothing's free at Gypsy's.
Luke Danes: And he paid cash?
Gypsy: Mostly twenties.
Luke Danes: Did you make sure Andrew Jackson was on the bills, not Alfred E. Neuman or someone?
Gypsy: Looked real to me.
Luke Danes: Well when he took the money out of wherever he had it, did a mask or a gun fall out?
Gypsy: No, but he was carrying it in a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it.
Luke Danes: Really?
Gypsy: No.
Luke Danes: Good.
Gypsy: Guys are stupid.
Luke Danes: What?
Gypsy: You strip your gears, ride your brakes. And if we don't laugh after we make a joke, you think we're serious.
Jackson Belleville: [from off camera] I don't ride my brakes!
Luke: You go make her stop.
Lorelai: I'm not going over there.
Luke: Why not? You're a woman.
Lorelai: So what?
Luke: So you have the same parts.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: You shouldn't be scared of it.
Lorelai: Scared of it? You know, you're gonna be a bachelor for a really long time.
Rory: Oh, a girl told me once that if your scalp is hurting, drink a 7-Up. It has something to do with the fizz.
Lane: The Kim household does not have soft drinks!
Rory: Well, what do you have?
Lane: Something called salad water, imported from Korea. Trust me, it's nothing like 7-Up!
Darren: Do you know which French city famous for its water was the capital of collaborationist France?
Lorelai: Oh, me? Um, Evian, Perrier, uh, Le Crystal Geyser?
Darren: Jennifer, you wanna help Lorelai out?
Jennifer: Vichy.
Darren: That's correct.
Lorelai: Oh, that's right. Vichy water, I knew that.
Darren: What about the year of Germany's victory in the Franco-Prussian War?
Lorelai: Huh, me again?
Darren: If you wish.
Lorelai: I don't know that one. I do know Istanbul is Constantinople, so if you've got a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.
