(to Max about his proposal) It should be magical. There should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question. There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse and I don't know what the horse is doing there unless you're riding it, which seems a little over the top, but it should be more than this.

Lorelai

(Luke has just left Lorelai's house, after having a rather intense encounter with Max)
Max: So are we going?
Lorelai: Uh, yeah. Just wanted to make sure you two were through swinging those things around. Someone's bound to lose an eye.
Max: What are you talking about?Lorelai: Nothing. I'll get my purse.
(Max follows Lorelai into the living room)
Max: So not to be blunt, but is that over?
Lorelai: Is what over?
Max: Whatever's going on that I just walked in on.
Lorelai: Oh Max, come on, that's Luke.
Max: I kind of picked something up there.
Lorelai: Okay. Well, drop it back on the ground and kick it under the couch, because there is no there there.
Max: Hey, it's okay. I mean, we were apart for quite a while. I never assumed you joined a convent.
Lorelai: Max.
Max: I mean, it's not like I didn't date while we were apart.
Lorelai: You dated?
Max: A little.
Lorelai: A little person?
Max: No, I dated a little.
Lorelai: Okay. Well, I didn't expect you to join a manvent or whatever the male equivalent of that is called. Who did you date?
Max: A monastery.
Lorelai: You dated a monastery?
Max: No, a monastery is the male equivalent of a convent.
Lorelai: Thank you Mr. Medina. I'll make a note for the quiz on Friday.
Max: I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.
Lorelai: No, I get it. Yes. We were apart. And, uh, you know, I didn't exactly remain inactive.
Max: So you did date Luke?
Lorelai: No, I did not date Luke.
Max: You can tell me.
Lorelai: I did not date Luke.
Max: There was a vibe.
Lorelai: There was no vibe. What is with the questioning? You won't tell me who you dated.

Max: So did you date Luke?
Lorelai: No, I did not date Luke.
Max: You can tell me.
Lorelai: I did not date Luke.
Max: There was a vibe.

(Luke broke into Lorelai's house)
Luke: It's the kind of lock burglars go for.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: It's easy to break. I proved that.
Lorelai: You proved that by...
Luke: Breaking in through the back door.

Max: We can't keep getting this close just to have something completely derail us again. And frankly there's only one thing I can think of that could solve it.
Lorelai: Break up.
Max: Ugh.
Lorelai: Well, I'm not interested in a murder-suicide kind of thing ...
Max: We should get married.
(long pause)
Lorelai: Give me a clue as to whether you're kidding or not.
Max: I am not kidding.
Lorelai: Good clue.

(At the town meeting)
Taylor: Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings.
Lorelai: No Taylor, it is it's um, diapers for the little ones.
Taylor: What?
Lorelai: Dorsal fins and cucamonga.
Taylor: What did she say?
Lorelai: (Whispering to Max) I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog?
...
(Later, when Lorelai has fries in her hand and Taylor looks at her suspiciously)
Lorelai: These are not fries. They are farfignugen sugen dugen.

Max: Thank you for last night.
Lorelai: It was a good night, wasn't it?
Max: Several novels will be written about it.
Lorelai: I say we do it again, and next time I'll be the gypsy queen.

Rory: I can't date you, Tristan.
Tristan: Well I give you permission.
Rory: And on that humble not... (Rory walks off)

Lorelai: I had the weirdest dream last night. We were in our house but it wasn't our house, it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Rory: I'm hooked.
Lorelai: I had to get dressed but my clothes were in the back and the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me through.
Rory: Oh my God that's so weird. When you said oil vat that just reminded me I had this dream last night. We were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water it was like oil or honey or something.
Lorelai: Hey.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You totally did the thing.
Rory: What thing?
Lorelai: The thing. Where one person is describing their dream and it reminds the other person about their dream and suddenly it's all about their dream and the first person is just standing there like 'Um, hey man what about my dream?'
Rory: I'm sorry. The oil vat guy was being mean...

Dean: So... that's your mom?
Lane: That's my mom.
Dean: Has she seen Patton?
Lane: She's just very uptight about boys.
Dean: I sensed something like that.
Lane: Don't take it personally.
Dean: I know, I'm sure once she gets to know me she'll...
Lane: No, she'll hate you forever. It's just nothing personal.

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.

Lorelai

Lorelai: (Talking about what she has just found in Luke's shopping bag) Pot holders. Little kitty pot holders. (Pulls the tail) They meow.
Luke: It's a present.
Lorelai: For someone you hate?

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Dean: You said 'boyfriend'.
Rory: No! I just meant boyfriend in the sense that the whole defending me thing was very boyfriendy, but only in the broadest sense of the word, which doesn't even apply at all here.

(about breakups) I was thrown from a moving car once.

Babette