Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan" Quotes
Blair: Louis just lied to me about his family.
Dorota: How you know?
Blair: My outfit for tonight's announcement included a pair of crocodile Alaias. You can't wear such a beautiful shoe if there's even a hint of a sprinkle outside. So of course I checked the weather. Clear from Monaco to Manhattan.
Dorota: Maybe have something to do with Lonely Boy book. Louis was reading while you sleep. He did not look happy.
Blair: I told him not to read it. It's not like there's anything in it that he doesn't know about me. {she starts reading}. Oh my god. I'm going to kill Dan Humphrey.
Seems like things are looking up for Lonely Boy. Let's hope they've actually read the book and not judged it by its cover.
Gossip Girl
Chuck: Success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd, right?
Dan: That's funny. Vanessa said the same thing.
Dan: Why aren't you mad at me? Your character dies. Accidentally, but it's not a happy ending.
Chuck: On the contrary. Although clearly fiction. I'd never use a belt. I'd use a chartreuse scarf. Much softer.
Dan: Thanks for letting me hang here, man.
Chuck: I enjoy watching you squirm. Scotch?
Dan: It's like two pm.
Chuck: Valium then?
Louis: But the way you said he made you in that story. If there's an entire book it could be terrible.
Blair: Look, I would expect nothing less. I was mean to him on the steps of the Met. I bad-mouthed him repeatedly to his dream girl. I tried to undermine him at W. I'm sure he's brutal. He may be calling this a novel, but I know just how little imagination he really has. It's a memoir masquerading as fiction. A reverse James Frey.
Louis: So you're going to read it?
Blair: No no. And you shouldn't either. Look, that book has nothing to do with us and the family we're building. Whatever is in there, even if it is the truth, it's in the past.
Sam: Did you actually have cases of champagne delivered to your school?
Serena: Is that what he wrote? A friend was pulling a prank on me.
Sam: But it actually happened?
Serena: That was in high school. Keep reading. You'll see I mature as he gets to know me better.
Sam: We got an advance copy of this new book by some anonymous New York insider and everyone in town is trying to figure out who.
Serena: Well I know who. I used to date him.
Sam: Shut up. No way! You're Sabrina? The dreamy blonde with the legs.
Serena: I guess I am.
Dan: Um, you know that story I wrote that Louis killed.
Blair: It's in the book. Yeah, I figured. But if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to stay in the dark about just how nastily you've portrayed me.
Dan: Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we're just recently friends again. Why ruin a good thing.
Blair: Yep. And, ah, I'm sorry in advance, but I have a better offer than your party tonight. Louis and I are telling our families the news.
Dan: Good luck.
Blair: You too. Your novel seems to be very well-punctuated and I... like the font.
Blair: So. now that this unnecessary meeting about America's future doorstop is adjourned, do you want to go grab a cup of decaf?
Serena: I would love to, B, but I'm already late for work. I've gotta get back.
Blair: Well maybe after work then.
Serena: If this is about the book, don't worry. Everyone loves a villain.
Dan: I wouldn't say there's a villain, per se.
Blair: Well I can tell you who isn't.
Serena: Come on, every girl needs to be knocked off her pedestal a little. Can't handle that kind of pressure. I'll see you later.
Dan: I want to make it clear: this book is a work of fiction. And after you read it I hope you'll feel good enough about it—and me—that, uh, you'll come to this book party tonight. The publisher is announcing that I'm the author, so...
Nate: Yeah. Of course we'll be there.
Dan: Well read it first. And then decide, because, you know, I didn't have the chance to make changes and there were some instances where it's not exactly how I would have wanted it.
Rufus: Well an artist never feels his work is perfect. It's good to always strive for more. I am so proud of you, son.
Nate: What's so funny?
Lily: I think you should ask Dan.
Dan: Well I might have made your character a little...
Chuck: Gay.
Dan: I hope that's okay. {to Chuck}. Stop enjoying this so much.
Chuck: You wanted me to feel something. That's a feeling.
Nate: Do I have game?
Chuck: Oh definitely.
Nate: Huh. I'm cool with that.
