Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey. This is even better than my parents' divorce. Please tell me it's true.

Penelope

Dan: For someone who's just a friend you're really good at choreographing reasons for us to kiss.
Blair: That's because I'm willing to suffer for love.
Dan: Whatever you say. Just don't get too handsy.

Charlie: No no. Don't let Sarah Palin ruin it for you. Alaska is amazing.
Dan: I don't know. But between Into the Wild and that Werner Herzog movie with the grizzly, I don't think it's for me.

Blair: I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they find out it's the prince. You are not to breathe a word of this. Normally you'd have to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I'm only grandfathering you in because of Serena.
Charlie: That him right over there? Don't understand why you guys are ignoring each other.
Blair: That's because you're from Florida.

Blair: You clear on the plan?
Dan: Yeah, I think I'll be fine once I figure out what a butler's pantry is.
Blair: You're a cater waiter. You know exactly what a butler's pantry is.

Chuck: Do you want me to come along? I know we've been on opposing teams for awhile, but... I've been through this. Maybe I could be helpful.
Raina: Actually, yeah. I'd appreciate that. I really hope it's my mom, Chuck.
Chuck: Me too.

Rufus: I want the party moved more than anyone, but it's not worth resorting to blackmail.
Serena: Yeah. You're probably right. So. Psycho or Silence of the Lambs?
Rufus: Alright, make the call.

Blair: We are going to stage a private, intimate moment for Louis to stumble upon. And when he realizes he has nothing to worry about, he'll go back to Paris leaving Louis behind. For me.
Dan: No way.
Blair: I thought you were my friend.
Dan: I am. Which is why I'm going to point out to you what a bad idea this is. For starters, Serena's going to be at this party.
Blair: She's staying with Lily tonight.
Dan: Fine. Then everyone else in the world will be at this party. We'd have to tell Serena.
Blair: Absolutely not. You and I faking a kiss? Do you really want to have that conversation with Serena?
Dan: It can't be half as painful as this one.

Dan: Blair, I swear I had no idea. Some magazine editor called me out of the blue to hire me to write an article on your prince, and I swear I backed out the minute I knew he was with you.
Blair: Oh you should have been suspicious the minute someone wanted to pay you for your writing. That wasn't an editor, it was one of Louis' royal handlers. And your desperate need for literary validation cost me the greatest date of my life.

Blair: Meet me at Paul Smith's in half-an-hour. You know why and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Dan: How did you find out?
Blair: I always find out. Just be there.

Louis: The royal birthright has many strings attached. When my advisor discovered I was in New York, he hired one of your friends to follow me.
Blair: I will see to it personally that Penelope is deported to a desperate Third World country. Preferably someplace with Sharia law.
Louis: It was a man. He saw us at Veselka.
Blair: Dan Humphrey? He wouldn't do that.

Chuck: Where's Raina?
Nate: She went back to her hotel. I think your whole Howard Hughes routine is starting to freak her out a bit. It's actually starting to freak me out too, man. Talk to me.
Chuck: I saw what you two were looking at this morning. The tattered box, old photographs. Is Raina looking for her mother? It's a mistake. You have to stop her.
Nate: Look man, I know what happened with your mom was painful, but at least you got some answers. Reina deserves the same and she can handle it.

Gossip Girl Season 4 Quotes

Serena: So what does it say about Chuck?
Blair: I couldn't be less interested. Serena gives her a look. No new posts. He's been MIA since he left town this spring.
Serena: What does it say about us?
Blair: "Ooh la la! Paris is burning and Serena and Blair lit the match." Of course your flame is hotter than mine. Everyone knows that the only guy who's been in my pants all summer is the tailor at Pierre Balmain.
Serena: And whose fault is that? B, just as many guys have flirted with you. I just happen to have a thing for French waiters.
Blair: And bartenders. And museum docents. Anyone on a Vespa or bicycle. Or wearing Zadig & Voltaire.

Serena: Blair what are you doing? We said we wouldn't check Gossip Girl all summer.
Blair: Summer's almost over.