House Quotes
Her leg hurts after running six miles. Who knows, it could be anything!
Occam's Razor—the simplest explanation is that someone screwed up.
Dr. Cameron: So, a woman can't express her interest in sex without it being some professional power play?
House: No. If you look the way you do and you say what you said, you have to be aware of the effect that it's going to have on men.
House: I know you're gonna get fired. That's why you've got the new glasses, that's why your teeth are sparkly white. You're getting the most out of your health insurance while you still can.
Jodi: I might be quitting.
House: If you were quitting you would have known that last week, when your snot was still pale goldenrod, you're getting fired.
Jodi: I just don't like being told what to do.
House: (pause) I'll book you for a full body scan later this week.
Dan's Mother: How can you just sit there?
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
Dr. Chase: It doesn't necessarily have to be that bad. If we exclude the night terrors it could be something systemic: his liver, kidneys, something outside the brain.
House: Yes, feel free to exclude any symptom if it makes your job easier.
You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.
Dr. Cuddy: And is there a paternity bet on the father of the patient?
House: Doesn't sound like me.
Dr. Wilson: Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty.
Look, I'm sorry. I can explain this as best I can, but the notion that you're gonna fully understand your son's treatment and make an informed decision is... is kind of insane. Here's what you need to know. It's dangerous. It could kill him. You should do it.
Dr. Foreman
(to House) Oh, I looked into that philosopher you quoted. Jagger. And you're right. You can't always get what you want, but as it turns out, if you try sometimes, you get what you need.
Dr. Cuddy
Dr. Cameron: House doesn't believe in pretense. Figures life's too short and too painful. So he just says that he thinks.
Dr. Foreman: "I say what I think" is just another way of saying "I'm an assho"...
(about House) The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have.
Dr. Cuddy
