Popular How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall
The girl from last night, I took her back to my place, then this morning spun her around a couple of times and sent her walking. She'll never find her way back and there she is!
Barney
Ted [about the kid stuck in a crane machine]: Did they let him keep the purple giraffe?
Robin: Yea, they let him keep all the toys, he was in there a long time and little kids have small bladders
Robin: I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look, and it's like-
Ted: Like what?
Robin: Like, let's fall in love, and get married, and have kids, and drive them to soccer practice.
Ted: I'm not going to force sports onto them unless they're interested
Barney: This is so lame.
Ted: Lame . . . or casual?
Barney: Lame.
Ted: . . . or casual?
It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!
Barney
Carl: Compliments of that guy. [lifts drink towards Robin and Lily]
Lily: Really? Sweet.
Carl: Oh, for you, it's $6
Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you.
Barney: Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool
Robin: Lily's phone.
Marshall: Robin, where's Lily? Is she talking to some hot guy? Well, you can tell me, it's totally cool, it was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off.
Robin: Really? I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it, yeah, it's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and...
Marshall: No, don't interrupt, it's awesome. So, the ring's really off. Awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she's... awesome. [hangs up phone] Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. Can't breathe
Marshall: Back off, hombre. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this, guy? Be my guest.
Lily: Marshall, he's gay.
Marshall: Oh, thank God, I've never been in a fight before
I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far one, one gay dolphin
Lily
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians
Barney
