Popular How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Barney: "Okay" is the name of a club. It's really exclusive. A friend of mine once stood outside for two hours and didn't get in.
Ted: A friend of yours named "you?"
Barney: No, a friend of mine named "Shut up!"
Coat Check Girl: Because all of the stuff you're suppose to like, usually sucks. Like these clubs, or cruises.
Ted: Or New Years Eve.
Coat Check Girl: Or the Superbowl.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: The Rockettes.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: You said that already!
Ted: I really hate parades
Robin: I get recognized once and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP. I'm just a lonely little P, sitting here in the gutter.
Lily: You know something? I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day
[at a really loud club...]
Ted: So, how do you know Robin?
Kelly: Sagittarius!
Ted: Is that near Westchester?
Kelly: I would love one! Just a beer!
Ted: These strategies ever work for you?
Barney: The question is: Do these strategies ever NOT work for me? Either way the answer is about half the time
Robin: You are gonna love Kelly, she's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment..
Barney: Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly.
Robin: Oh, and she's totally hot!
Lily: Maybe we should start doing grown-up stuff.
Marshall: It was some pretty grown up stuff we did this morning.
Lily: Yea, but it wasn't classy
Barney: Ted, get your coat we're leaving.
Ted: What happened to the cute broad you were grinding with?
Barney: Promise not to tell anyone ever in your life? Ever? This can't be one of those stories...'funny time this one time Barney was...' none of that. Promise?
[Ted Nods]
Barney [whispers]: That was my cousin Leslie
Lily [looking at Barney's shiny shirt]: Hey, we wore the same the shirt! No, wait, that's just my shirt reflected in yours.
Barney: One of the 24 ways women and fish are alike is that they're both attracted to bright objects. Don't you ever read my blog?
Robin: He's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.
Lily: Boyfriend.
Marshall: So why haven't we met him?
Robin: We're not really ready to go public yet.
Barney: Married
Lily: How about a Halloween double-date?
Robin: I don't know, we were kinda thinking about staying at home and dressing up as naked people
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians
Barney
