How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes
Don't cry in front of her, and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her four times
Ted [about Robin]
Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.
Barney
Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally awesome wife just bought me a lap dance with her body double. If you need me I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room
Marshall [to Barney]
Barney: I don't come here that often
Waitress: Hey Barney, here's your usual and I'll send you your other usual when she's done stretching
Barney: Thank you kindly, stranger
Jen: We're going to die alone aren't we?
Ted: Well, you'll have your cats
Barney: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibit?
Lily: Why?
Barney: No, I said who
Lily: I heard you
Robin: Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing things that would end our relationship?
Ted [about Barney and Robin]: You do realize that they were lying to you
Lily: No, they don't realize that they weren't lying
Unless I say fluggelhorn, you haven't gone too far
Robin
T-dawg, you're in the wrong room bro
Student [to Professor Mosby]
Just once I wish you guys would call me on tuxedo night
Marshall
I'm always punching guys, girls, I'll even punch a baby, I don't care
Barney
Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as gremlins. Rule number one: never get them wet. In otherwards, don't let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: keep them away from sunlight. i.e don't ever see them during the day. And rule number three: never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her, ever
Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
Barney: No Ted, brunch is not cool
