It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!
Dennis
He doesn't hide under a toupee. He faces his challenges instead of retreating to the sewers nude to forage for rings and coins. Or to the toilets. To a life filled with rats. He's the kind of man who gives me the courage to do an amazing double jack-knife twist, which I did. Most of you people wouldn't even attempt that, I did it. And to go down on Chrissy Orlando on a trampoline that very same night, which I also did. And I licked her asshole a little bit. It was pretty good. It was alright. It wasn't great.
Dennis
Frank: (*after a bat bites him*) I just got tagged by a bat! I got tagged! Suck out the poison, Dee! I'll give you $200 if you suck it out.
(*Dee sucks on Frank's head*)
Frank: Suck it harder!
Mac: Did you swallow it?!
Dee: Yeah, I swallowed it.
Mac: Make yourself throw up!
Charlie: You swallowed the poison!
Dennis: Bats don't have poison!
Mac: I gained and lost 60 pounds in 3 months.
Therapist: That's almost impossible.
Mac: Well, through God all things are possible, so jot that down.
Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?
Mac
Rude man who shushes please call.
Dennis
Charlie, stop wearing clothes you find washing up under bridges.
Dee
Mac: Why are you jamming me up, bro?
Gym Manager: I'm not trying to jam you up, I just don't believe you.
Mac: What is not to believe? I'm absolutely Dennis Reynolds.
Gym Manager: This picture looks nothing like you.
Mac: Well, thank you, cause I've actually packed on about fifteen to twenty pounds of solid bulk muscle since that picture was taken. It's actually a testament to your gym.
This isn't fat. This is mass.
Mac
Charlie: We'd be two cool, straight dudes married together.
Frank: Oooh. Well, I never thought of it that way. Two dudes getting married, that doesn't seem very gay.
Ryan: We can always split it 50/50/50.
Liam: Do you even hear what you're saying?
Dennis: Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who's going to blast me in the a** or the Republican who's blasting my a**?
Mac: See politics is all just one big a**-blast.
Dennis: It's a coast to coast,...
Charlie: You're going to get you're a**-blasted.
Dennis: ...nationwide a**-blasting.
