Oh, 'cause I'm playing both sides!

Mac

Your head of security just choked himself out.

Charlie

Go play in your little hole, you fools.

Dennis

Dennis: Frank I spoke for five minutes, there's no way I'm repeating all that.
Dee: Dennis started a cult.

I've had a rough day! I'm at the end of my ropes! If I'm being honest.

Dee

Dennis: You gonna goddamn blow this for me? You gonna blow the thin mint thing?
Frank and Dee: Noooo!

  • Permalink: Noooo!
  • Recent Views: 0

Charlie: Oh, yeah, the carpentry.
Mac: Throughout history, the ass kickers have always known carpentry -- Jesus Christ, Harrison Ford.
Charlie: Okay, then what are you talking about?
Mac: The women, the women dude. This is supposed to be a men's club, who wants that around here.

He's gonna put all the brains in my head. Sweet.

Charlie

Charlie: Wait, what are you good at?
Dee: Good, uh, um, I'm a good person.

And he made it clear to me that all of you are going to need to commit suicide.

Dennis

They were gonna light themselves on fire! I'm the winner!

Dennis

Fire's started, thanks for trusting me, this is goodbye!

JoJo

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.