He's dead! He's dead and he's never coming back!

Sally [on his grandfather]

Harry: It doesn't make any sense. It looks right, sounds right, smells right. But something's not right. What is it?
Roger: She's not Ann-Margaret.

He has a dream, and it's our job to make it come true.

Pete

Dennis: You throw the ball around [with your son]?
Don: Not enough.

Dennis: [The inmates] blame their mom and dad.
Don: That's a bullshit excuse.

Betty: Where's Don?
Nurse: He's in the waiting room.
Betty: Bullshit. He's never where you expect him to be.

This is your time, Peggy.

Duck

Peggy: I look around and I think: I want what he had. You have everything and you have so much of it.
Don: I suppose that's probably true.

Peggy: It's my decision.
Pete: Your decisions affect me.

Lane's assistant: Mr. Kinsey, you might wanna shave your beard.
Kinsey: What? Who the hell are you people?!?
Lane's assistant: That was a joke.

Only boring people are bored.

Betty

Psychiatry is just this year's candy pink stove.

Roger