Bonnie: An act of God, Pete. That's how you know when things are really against you.
Pete: You don't seem very upset about it.
Bonnie: Because that's the thrill. Our fortunes are in other people's hands and we have to take them.
Pete: I want to chew you up and spit you out.

• Permalink: I want to chew you up and spit you out.
• Added: April 20, 2014

Well, I'm all for the national advancement of colored people but I do not think they should advance all the way to the front of the office. People can see her from the elevator.

Cooper

• Permalink: Well, I'm all for the national advancement of colored people but I do not think they should...
• Added: April 20, 2014

Sally: Please stop.
Don: I'm not stopping the car.
Sally: Stop talking.

• Permalink: Stop talking.
• Added: April 20, 2014

Pete: Sometimes I think I died and I'm in some sort of... I don't know if it's heaven or hell or limbo. I don't know what it is, but I don't seem to exist. No one feels my existence.
Ted: Just cash the checks. You're gonna die one day.

• Permalink: Just cash the checks. You're gonna die one day.
• Added: April 20, 2014

I didn't know I was going to be interrogated by the Hooterville telephone operator.

Don

• Permalink: I didn't know I was going to be interrogated by the Hooterville telephone operator.
• Added: April 20, 2014

Well, the snows melted but not the hearts of New Yorkers. I just had some old lady call me a kike.

Roger

• Permalink: Well, the snows melted but not the hearts of New Yorkers. I just had some old lady call me a...
• Added: April 20, 2014

Stan: Now we all know you don't have plans for Valentine's Day.
Peggy: Oh.
Ginsberg: She has plans, just look at her calendar. Friday, February 14th. Masturbate gloomily.

• Permalink: She has plans, just look at her calendar. Friday, February 14th. Masturbate gloomily.
• Added: April 20, 2014