Do you know the mountains that President Dalton and I had to move to put this deal back together? All to do what's best for our children, and grandchildren, and, oh yeah, the other seven billion people on the planet, too? And you are putting it all on the line trying to strong arm us into endorsing some *toddler* that you are using as a political pawn? Do...you know who the real toddler is, Ming? You! You're the real toddler. You are.

Elizabeth [after Minister Chen informs her about the Chinese Lama]

• Permalink: Do you know the mountains that President Dalton and I had to move to put this deal back...
• Added: March 20, 2017

A government with conflicting opinions. I will never understand democracy.

Foreign Minister Chen

• Permalink: A government with conflicting opinions. I will never understand democracy.
• Added: March 20, 2017

So do the right thing. Don't screw up the climate deal that a majority of Americans support, including your constituents. Or I will kick your ass. [pause] Welcome to Washington, Senator.

President Dalton [to a wayward Senator]

• Permalink: So do the right thing. Don't screw up the climate deal that a majority of Americans support,...
• Added: March 20, 2017

President Dalton: Why did I want this job again?
Elizabeth: Your house does have a bowling alley in the basement.

• Permalink: Your house does have a bowling alley in the basement.
• Added: March 20, 2017

Henry [asking about the cult's reaction to it's missing member]: Does the Council of Elders suspect foul play?
Ian: Yeah, of course. They have conspiracy theories on why certain squirrels show up when they do.

• Permalink: Yeah, of course. They have conspiracy theories on why certain squirrels show up when they do.
• Added: March 20, 2017

The Dalai Lama's announcement last night broke the internet. The public moved on from sad polar bears to cute baby saviors.

Russell

• Permalink: The Dalai Lama's announcement last night broke the internet. The public moved on from sad...
• Added: March 20, 2017

Are you really going to hold the world hostage over a symbol? Who's probably not even potty trained?!

Elizabeth [to Foreign Minister Chen about the Dalai Lama's successor]

• Permalink: Are you really going to hold the world hostage over a symbol? Who's probably not even potty...
• Added: March 20, 2017

Symbols are often more potent than armies, Elizabeth.

Foreign Minister Chen

• Permalink: Symbols are often more potent than armies, Elizabeth.
• Added: March 20, 2017

Hang on Jay. I have peace and light on the other line. I got to call you back. [picks up cell] Namaste, Russell.

Elizabeth

• Permalink: Hang on Jay. I have peace and light on the other line. I got to call you back. [picks up...
• Added: March 20, 2017

Secretary Elizabeth McCord! Ah, so good to see you. You are the kindest of world leaders. Tall bird lady with lion's heart.

Dalai Lama

• Permalink: Secretary Elizabeth McCord! Ah, so good to see you. You are the kindest of world leaders....
• Added: March 20, 2017

Russell: The Chinese have had a bug up their ass about the Dalai Lama since the 1950s, when they first drove him from his spiritual seat in Tibet. To them, he's a font of separatist rhetoric, hell-bent on breaking away from China, so it is indeed delicate.
Elizabeth [laughing incredulously]: Are you really mansplaining Tibetan history to me?

• Permalink: Are you really mansplaining Tibetan history to me?
• Added: March 20, 2017

Henry: You were really playing Titanfall, weren't you?
Jason: I mean, you know...
Henry: Weren't you? Huh?
Jason: If the State of the Union had just a few more explosions...

• Permalink: If the State of the Union had just a few more explosions...
• Added: March 20, 2017