Bill: As much as I would like to take you upstairs...
Virginia: Having my mother arrange it best.

Dan: Look, I've made a fortune covering unpleasant smells with lemon, perfume. But I have no idea how to market the smell of...
Lester: Stink?
Virginia: Actually what we're smelling is Lester's bacteria. That's what's giving off this unpleasant high school locker room tang.
Lester: You're welcome!
Virginia: And what we'll be experimenting with, hopefully, is the subliminal scent.
Dan: The smell behind the stink.
Virginia/Dan: The holy grail of attraction.
Bill: Or, we can call it a love potion.

You know, the purpose of this evening wasn't to make you sigh, in despair, anyway.


So smells elicit emotions rather than arousal, leaving us nowhere.


Let's be honest, Bill. What we had was about as honest as two amoeba in a petri dish.


Edna: I'm so proud of you.
Virginia: You are?
Edna: All you've got to do is get him to leave his wife and marry you. You're so close. Strike while the iron is hot, and don't give him a chance to get tired of you.

When we talk about sex, we do not talk about love, Dr. Farber, because love cannot be rendered into columns and graphs as if it were the same as blood pressure or heart rate. Love is not a force exerted by one body onto another. It is the very fabric of those bodies. Love is that which carves the lines and grooves; the curvature of our desire.


What's really broken, Barton, is me.


Margaret: What am I doing?
Barton: Yes.
Margaret: I'm living in the truth. At least I'm trying to, which is far more than I can say for you.

Well, why don't you tell your friends that your daughter has co-authored a seminal work on human sexuality, and she's supporting herself, handsomely, from the proceeds.


Joy is the woman that you married all these years ago, and you have to remember and honor who she is still, and treat her with the same dignity and respect that you always did.


It haunts me, carrying around a secret that doesn't belong to me and isn't mine to tell.


Masters of Sex Quotes

I think women often confuse love with physical attraction.


Women fake orgasms, maybe all of em. Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately