Bitch stole second.

Jesse

Joe: She's really good 'cause she played varsity.
Owen: Great.
Maria: And I'm a lesbian so...

God I hate your penis.

Owen (to Terry)

Joe: That's your breakfast? Yogurt?
Lucy: Yogurt is what girls eat, Dad.

That was close. Just won a hundred bucks. Woo!

Joe

You dug this big ass hole, and you're gonna fill it up.

Owen

You can't take away a guy's sale because he's a dick. Otherwise you'd still have zero.

Owen

Terry: You're Jordan, but when he played for the Wizards.
Marcus: You're Jordan when he played for the White Sox.

You listening Joe? I was just getting to the part about my diarrhea.

Manfro

You do know what the internet is? That place where you re-order your Viagra.

Marcus (to Terry)

Don't you watch him drive away. I got everything you need right here. Watch me walk away.

Owen

Erin: I'm 46. I can't just throw it all away on a fling.
Terry: I wasn't thinking of this as a fling.

Men of a Certain Age Season 2 Quotes

Manfro: I want my last meal.
Joe: Oh come on.
Manfro: I'm gonna be doing a lot of jokes like that so you better get used to it.

Erin: Old friend? She's not that old.
Terry: Actually she's 58.