Mike: Wait, you mean she's acted like this before?
Joyce: Prom, senior picture day, and one god awful summer when she decided to master the accordion.

• Permalink: Wait, you mean she's acted like this before? Prom, senior pi...
• Added: April 16, 2012

Molly: Slow and steady always wins the race. Don't I always say that?
Mike: She does, never in the right context, but it's a good saying anyway.

• Permalink: Slow and steady always wins the race. Don't I always say that? ...
• Added: April 16, 2012

We Biggs don't tone and we don't tan - we burn and we stroke out.

Mike

• Permalink: We Biggs don't tone and we don't tan - we burn and we stroke out...
• Added: April 16, 2012

Carl: Now if you want to get into your bride's head a little bit, just change "boobs" to "holy matrimony".
Mike: Wow, I had no idea it consumed their every though and dictated their every action.

• Permalink: Now if you want to get into your bride's head a little bit, just...
• Added: April 16, 2012

Thought you had me didn't you, you fun sized little b**ch!

Molly [to candy bar]

• Permalink: Thought you had me didn't you, you fun sized little b**ch!
• Added: April 16, 2012