Well tie me up and call me Loretta.

Fornell

Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.

McGee: You know it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although, maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Fornell: Best leave the psychoanalysis to Duckie. If you value breathing.

Fornell: Wait a sec. How exactly do you know about your mother and me?
Emily: I know everything. I put a keystroke logger on both of your Facebook accounts.

Bank manager: Would you like something to drink?
Gibbs: No. I'm good.
Diane: I'll take a water. One straw, two pieces of ice, three slices of lemon.

Bishop: I took the liberty of reading the Handbook of Autopsy Practice this weekend.
Palmer: The whole thing? That's over 600 pages.
Bishop: It's 596 actually. It was really cool.

Bishop: I mean, I might have a better idea. Look, Eddie is coming back. If he was ditching his car, there are easier places to abandon it than at an airport. We should put it back and watch it. And when he comes to pick it up----
Gibbs: We grab him.
Bishop: Absolutely not. We follow him, see what he does, where he goes, then we grab him.
Gibbs: Works for me.

Diane: You guys are buddies now?
Gibbs: Yeah. We were thinking of starting a club.
Diane: Yeah? Well watch it, boys. I know something about each and every one of you, that you don't want anybody else to know. And I got a Twitter account.

Porter: Is this another dramatic touch, McGee?
McGee: Not exactly, Madame Secretary. Network security detected an unauthorized electronic transmission. Everything shuts down automatically.
Porter: So that means someone's trying to hack in from the outside.
McGee: No. Lockdown only happens if the attack's internal.
Vance: The threat's in this room.

Tony: Raise your arms. Please. Ma'am. Just remember I have mouths to feed. Two goldfish. I'm their only source of income. They're awfully cute.
Porter: Relax, DiNozzo. I'm as anxious about this as you are.

Tony: So you got twenty-five pages of national security strategy from inside a breakfast cereal.
Allie: In order to better prepare for attacks I dream up threats that haven't happened yet.
Tony: This dream came true.

Flynn: Jeff Daniels wasn't in Tron, that was Jeff Bridges.
Tony: Flynn, you are a fan.

NCIS Season 11 Quotes

I'm positive that NCIS is being set up. Sending you out here was not about Lieutenant McBride. It was about separating you from your team.

Parsons

Tobias: Hard to know who to trust anymore.
Gibbs: Has it ever been easy, Tobias?