Never Have I Ever
Thursdays on NetflixNever Have I Ever Quotes
Paxton: Yo, Shrimp. That little ASU joke back there was pretty funny, huh? If you ever speak to me like that again, I'll give you Saturday detention for the rest of the year. And I'll make your lunch period 9 a.m.
Shrimp: But I'll still be full from breakfast.
Paxton: See, bro, I think you forget who you're talking to. And now I have the power and the parking spot of a faculty member. See, I can make your life miserable if I want to. So show some respect.
Shrimp: Look, I'm… I'm really sorry, Paxton, all right? Please don't be mad at me. I… You-- You look really handsome. Red is totally your color, man.
I don't know if you remember this, but you're Paxton Hall-Yo-goddamn-shida. You are the king of this jungle, baby. You're a legend, you're a handsome son of a bitch, and you're that guy. Sometimes, I'm brushing my teeth at night. I can't even believe we're best friends.
Trent
What's up, Paxton? Hey, guess what. I, uh… I just talked to the ASU rep for, like, five seconds. So I basically went through as long as you did.
Shrimp
Ben: Never thought I'd be grateful you're built like a shot-putter.
Devi: Um, please, I'm a snatched-waist slim-thicc queen, and so are you, apparently.
Power, leadership, innovation, domination. You're getting the full package when you admit me. And that's why Columbia should be all about the Benjamin.
Ben
Devi: How are we gonna solve this?
Eleanor: Simple. You give him to me. I liked him first. I kissed him first, and I just got dumped, so I need this. Okay, what?
Devi: If anyone needs this, it's me. You got dumped by a guy who loved you so much that he proposed to you after a meaningful relationship and tons of amazing sex. The person who took my virginity ditched me for someone else and won't even speak to me.
Ben: I'll just sit back here so that Devi doesn't try to make conversation with me.
Margot: Babe, you know I don't care if you talk to her, right? This whole silent treatment thing was your idea.
Ben: I know because it's just easier this way. She just always complicates things.
Paxton: Do you think I made a mistake leaving college so soon?
Trent: Are you freaking joking? No way. Look at you. You're getting paid to basically hang out with me. What could be better?
Paxton: I know, right? And college sucked, man. Everyone at ASU was a freaking douche, and now that I'm here, it'll be just like old times, except without any homework.
Devi: But for real, what are you doing here?
Paxton: I'm the assistant swim coach.
Devi: Wait, really? But what about ASU?
Paxton: Oh yeah, uh, didn't work out. Just wasn't the right place for me.
Devi: Yeah, but, like, how would you know? You were there for, like, what, two weeks? Come on, what'd your parents say?
Paxton: College isn't for everyone, Devi. You know that, right? I mean, it's actually kind of elitist of you--
Devi: Oh no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… I don't know. I thought you could've given it more time before you, you know, gave up.
Paxton: Well, thank you for your concern, but I'm an adult. I know what I'm doing.
Ethan: And the baddest part about you is that you're betraying your friend.
Devi: Huh?
Ethan: It's so hot how you're stabbing her in the back. Her feelings are gonna be so hurt.
Nirmala: I need to tell everyone something. I know this family looks to me as a pillar of morality, almost godlike in virtue, but I'm a mere woman. A woman with needs. So I would like it to be known that I'm dating someone. He's a white man named Len.
Kamala: Once again, you really didn't need to mention his race.
Nirmala: And we've been going on clandestine, unchaperoned lunches together. There. The truth is out. Disown me if you must.
Eleanor: 'Sup, Ethan? Cool bruise.
Ethan: Uh… Yeah, I fell.
Eleanor: Wow, you're crazy.
