Nick: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes.
Schmidt: Burn them! Burn them all!

• Permalink: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes. Bur...
• Added: April 04, 2013

Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?

Jess

• Permalink: Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or som...
• Added: April 04, 2013

Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C, we release that bear in the restaurant right as they're about to order dessert.

Winston

• Permalink: Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the be...
• Added: April 04, 2013

He doesn't steal pies from windowsills! He is a real-life homeless person!

Winston

• Permalink: He doesn't steal pies from windowsills! He is a real-life homele...
• Added: April 04, 2013

Schmidt: Here are some things you want to hide about yourself on tonight's date--you're cheap, you're a heavy drinker, you're broke, you have a problem with anger.
Winston: Your car is horrible.

• Permalink: You're cheap, you're a heavy drinker, you're broke, you have a p...
• Added: April 04, 2013

You can't outrun the Jewish!

Schmidt

• Permalink: You can't outrun the Jewish!
• Added: April 04, 2013