Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Season 1 Episode 12: "DA Club" Quotes
Dan: So you decided to go with blackmail after all?
Abby: Absolutely not. He just thought I did because that’s how he does things. And as you said, he hasn’t changed in thirty years.
Dan: You know why?
Abby: Because he’s not incredible?
Dan: Well, yeah. Also, he doesn’t have anyone in his life to make him better. Like my late wife. Or your father. Or you.
Abby: Why do you want to be a part of this club anyway? You’re better than this place.
Olivia: You think I don’t know that? I hate this place and everything it stands for. The people are jerks. It smells like gravy. And eight different men came up to me and asked me who my husband told me to vote for.
I want to change things and I’m not going to do that by playing the same games you all been playing since the wall deer had bodies.
Abby
Dan: You’re not going to get any traction with him until you figure out what it is he wants from you.
Abby: I don’t know. I think I can sell him on this. People can change. You changed.
Dan: Yeah, but I’m incredible.
That place is wasted on Abby. She doesn’t want to use social interaction to advance her career. She just wants to be friends with people like a psycho.
Olivia
Abby got invited to the Manhattan Heritage Club? The premiere club for legal elites in New York City? The club that I have dreamed of joining ever since I realized the pure joy of excluding people?
Olivia
Jeff: Care to bet on the outcome like in the old days, Dan?
Dan: Sadly, I’m no longer a gambling man. So, say five hundred?
Jeff: Easy money. She looks like a pushover.
Dan: Oh, sweet Jeff, you’re going to wish you died at sea.
Jeff: The DA’s office takes the concerns of jurists like yourself very seriously. Let’s get a meeting on the books.
Abby: Never had a meeting on the books. I’ve had a meeting about books. Back home when they tried to ban Cat in the Hat for being pro-mischief.
Jeff: So the rumors are true. You’re a public defender now?
Dan: Jeff DeWitt. I’d heard you’d drowned on the Lehman Brothers’ boat.
Jeff: You wish. They do women and children LAST.
Olivia, you feeling okay? I mean, I know you don’t like being here, but tonight, it actually shows.
Gurgs
Neil: Next case, the City of New York versus Captain James T. Kush. He was arrested for growing and selling marijuana on his charter boat.
Abby: Hold on. Yes, this is the least surprised I’ve ever been.
Dan: Your Honor, my client runs a respectable business beloved by college students, deadheads, and Woody Harrelson.
Kush: Plus, Your Excellency, I was in international waters. My only judge should be the sea.
Abby: Uh, you were in the East River. That is not international, nor water.
