Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Abby: Oh no, Arlo forgot his nose ring.
Gurgs: That wasn’t in his nose.
Abby: Dad never mentioned that in his stories.
Gurgs: Welcome to Night Court!
Olivia: This is clearly fraud.
Abby: Well, it’s only fraud if she’s not psychic.
Olivia: Hold on. You want her to prove she’s psychic?
Neil: Yeah, I don’t know if we have time…
Abby: Well, you know what they say – there’s always time for CPLR 40.11 which allows judges broad discretion to regulate the conduct of the trial and of setting a proper decorum. Also, they gave me this fancy wooden hammer, so I kinda get to do what I want.
Esmeralda The Magnificent: You took this job to minimize expectations, and you’re in a hurry to leave, but have no place to go.
Neil: Okay, she might be magic.
Gurgs: Oh, don’t worry, judge. He does this sort of thing all the time.
Abby: Really?
Gurgs: No, I was just trying to cheer you up. I think you broke him.
Neil: Legal Aid said they’ll send another public defender as soon as they can.
Abby: What if we get another Paul?
Neil: We’d be lucky to get another Paul. He had a way of not caring that would make the night just fly by.
Abby: Our public defender quit, and I was wondering if you might be interested.
Dan: In being a public defender. I’m afraid you’ve confused me with someone else. Someone who likes people.
I prefer leaving the past in the past. If these walls could talk, they’d say, ‘Kill me.’
Dan
Olivia: If you think Truck Stop Santa is going to be our new public defender, you’re delusional.
Abby: I think he’d be perfect.
Olivia: Self-centered narcissists aren’t public defenders. We’re prosecutors.
Abby: I’m just trying to do the right thing, and if people aren’t onboard for that, that’s on them.
Dan: Your problem is that you think being right matters. Yeah, good judges decide what’s right. Great judges convince people. That’s what made your father so special.
Abby: Keeping things boxed up seems to be your thing. Your past, your feelings, you’ve put your whole life in a box and won’t let anyone in.
Dan: Hold on a second. Am I in the box or am I putting things in the box?
Abby: I kinda lost the thread.
Dan: Good luck with the saving the world thing. I am sure that is going to happen any day now.
Abby: I’m going to pretend you’re being sincere and there’s nothing you can do about it!
My job isn’t exactly fulfilling, so I gotta find ways to keep my brain from eating itself.
Neil
