The point is you're always going to be her go-to person, her first phone call when she needs someone.

Goodbyes can be tough, but that’s how you know you had something real.

Waiter

Rand: Dan, you have insane emotional intelligence.
Dan: Rand, I have every type of intelligence.

Gurgs: She’s a lawyer visiting from England.
Olivia: Oh, a barrister! With the exchange rate, they’re worth 1.18 American lawyers.

Olivia: Wow, Gurgs. You’re really amazing at remembering people. The salt guy, this waiter. I may have to use this superpower of yours for evil.
Gurgs: You mean you want me to help you meet people? That’s not using it for evil. That’s using it for normal.
Olivia: Ah. That seems less fun, but okay.

You know what quiets the old brain? Alcohol. Nature’s snooze button.

Olivia

Evelyn: That’s how it starts. A little birthday party. Then suddenly, it’s midday raves, pill-swapping, constant hook-ups. We have to triple-chlorinate the pool! My social life, nah! I’m too busy trying to keep these horndogs from spreading the jitterbug, an STD we thought time had forgotten!
Louise: We have a good time!

Olivia: Where do you feel most safe?
Gurgs: Uh, the basement level of Bed, Bath, and Beyond; the world of aquatic birds at the Bronx Zoo; and this court.
Olivia: Yes! You love this court! It’s the thing I understand least about you, and you love Daylight Savings Time.
Gurgs: Well, I love anything that Arizona is not involved in.

You’re not taking off for the bayou without us throwing a party to say, ‘Bye, you!’

Abby

Yeah, being a judge is kind of a dream I had given up on. Think about it, I’ve been judging people my entire life for free. Now, I’m gonna get a paycheque.

Rand: Can’t wait for this courthouse tour. Is it true you guys have a vending machine that still sells cigarettes?
Abby: That’s nothing. We also have a working switchboard. No one uses it, but those nice ladies just have nowhere to go.

Abby: Look at how cute he is, sitting courtside, like a basketball wife or a more handsome Jack Nicholson.
Olivia: More handsome? Someone clearly hasn’t seen The Shining.

Night Court Season 1 Episode 15 Quotes

Abby: Look at how cute he is, sitting courtside, like a basketball wife or a more handsome Jack Nicholson.
Olivia: More handsome? Someone clearly hasn’t seen The Shining.

You don’t understand. They were doing flips OVER me. They made Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray look like trash. Most impressive part was none of the dancing was even remotely dirty.

Rand