Reaper Quotes
Bob: My name is Bob and I'm a demon.
Everyone: Hi, Bob!
Bob: I had a rough week. Started off great. I rode around on Monday, collecting recyclables. Then I dropped coins into expired meters. Then I tried to eat a child. I knew right away it was wrong, so I untied the kid and called my sponsor Randy
It's really nice to see that even though I've clearly moved on, that my mark is still all over you. Like dog pee on a pretty, pretty little tree
Sock [to Josie]
The guy was a lawyer, of course. We have a lot of those in Hell
Devil
You don't like banana splits? What are you, some kind of Commie
Devil
Ben: I hope she likes peppermint.
Sock: You could have gotten her any flavor in the world you wanted to, and you gave her peppermint! Really?
Ben: Yeah, why?
Sock: Ben, everybody knows peppermint is for jerks, right?
Devil: Serious question for you. Are you a boob man, ass man, leg man? What's your preference?
Sam: I'm not having this conversation.
Devil: I've always been more of an ass man myself.
Sam: Would you stop it?
Devil: Come on, what's a little locker room talk between friends?
Sam: We're not friends
Ben: I mean, they're like our cool, fun uncles.
Sock: Benji, have you ever had a cool, fun uncle?
Ben: Uncle Hector.
Sock: Uncles are creepy by definition, okay? Have you not been watching your SVU?
Sock: Hey, did the doctors x-ray you?
Andi: Yes.
Sock: Good. I have a theory about radiation. You're exposed to enough in your lifetime, you have a greater chance of getting... cooler mutant powers.
Andi: Yeah, but I don't think I really want mutant powers, Sock
Steve: Okay, the homophobe thing, all right, I don't agree with but I understand. But... fallen angels, doomed to walk the Earth for eternity. That weirds you out?
Sam: It's not normal.
Steve: Biology vs. society, what's normal, Sam? You're a Reaper? I play racquetball with Gladys, she told me
Sock: So we're dealing with a hot soul that kills even hotter women? Is there anything wrong that I'm aroused and disgusted at the same time?
Ben: Yeah, probably, but you shouldn't wouldn't beat yourself up over it.
Sock: Thanks, Benji
Steve: Would you guys like to come in? I just made a pot of ginger tea.
Sock: No, no thanks, we're straight
Sam: You guys think it's kind of weird we replaced our parents with a couple of gay dudes?
Sock: Weird, Sam? No. Genius
