Nina: Do many people find those women attractive?
Kristen: Oh yes, I think they're beautiful.
Nina: So for you, beauty entails injecting silicone into your chest cavity

After hanging out with him I think he's a really good guy, I don't even want to destroy him anymore!

Nina [about Sam]

Sammy, punishing souls is like raising children. They need consistency. And you can't reward bad behavior. They step out of line, you just have to give them a timeout in the Closet of Abysmal Agony


Andi: I'll talk to him. I have to be the adult.
Sam: Uhhh, that's, no, that's definitely a terrible idea.
Andi: Why?
Sam: Because you can't deal with Sock as an adult. You have to sink to his level. You have to sink below his level.
Andi: Uhh, I'm not sure that's even possible

Boxing requires focus. You know what it's like? It's like having sex. All right, everything's going good, right? You're getting your groove on, chugging along. In comes the talking, the hints, the tips, the criticizing. The next thing you know, you've lost that concentration, you're locked in the bathroom yelling at your own lap!


Ben: You're not dating me to kill Sam, are you?
Nina: No. Besides, I don't need a knife to kill Sam.
Ben: What's that mean?
Nina: I just use these guys. [holds up hands] I like to get up in there and feel the heart beating before I squish it with my hands.
Ben: You see, that doesn't make me feel better

It might have a little bit of hellfire left in it. But don't worry, it's perfectly safe. Just don't ever sleep next to it, it'll give you nightmares. And don't ever make wishes on it. And then just use a regular damp cloth to clean it

Nina [about the geode she gave Ben]

Sock: Yeah, Nina, nice. I like a girl who eats like a trucker.
Nina: Thank you, Sock

Sam: You are a terrible person, seriously.
Devil: That's my job, man. You know, tempting the weak. Culling the herd. you know the drill

Ben: So I went to the mall alone...
Sock: Sure.
Ben: buy a couple of pairs of pants.
Sock: I'm sorry. You bought a couple of pairs of pants? Since when do you need more than one pair of pants? What are you, Jude Law?

She's my sister and the only one allowed to have sex with her is me

Sock [to Topher]

It's like she's water-boarding my boys, Sammy. They're constantly blue

Sock [about Kristen wrestling with him]

Reaper Quotes

Hey, no shame in community college, K-Fed. I almost went


Sam [about the vessels]: Wait. So, they're not all little vacuums?
DMV Demon: The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron