Reaper Quotes
Sam: Are you saying they're lying?
Devil: Listen, Sammy, they're your parents and you love them. But people who make deals with me generally aren't big on integrity. You can't get blood from a stone, I'm just saying
Devil: You know, I got to say, this is one of my greatest inventions.
Sam: You invented the lottery?
Devil: You betcha. State-sponsored gambling. Minimum wage earners spending their last buck on an 18 million to one long shot. I like to call it the idiot's tax
Sam: At least they hooked you up with that weird suit.
Ben: Yeah it was a present from an attempted murderer I met.
Sock: That's an attempted murderer suit?
Ben: Yes.
Sock: Nice. Can I try on the jacket?
Ben: Hands off.
Sock: I let you try on my homeless guy pants. Come on.
Ben: Not the same
This is the first and last time you will ever hear me say these words, but we shouldn't be drinking tonight
Sock
That cage will never work on me. It might hold a demon, but come on... I'm the man!
Devil
Sock: I'm gonna say a prayer when we do it.
Sam: Sock, she's a demon. I don't' think she'd want prayers.
Sock: I'm gonna sing some Sabbath when we do it.
Andi: That'll be real nice, Sock
Josie: First off, you're a complete moron to even be in this situation.
Ben: No one disputes that I'm a moron.
Sock: I tried to stop him, baby.
Ben: No you didn't.
Sock: No I didn
Andi: What, you guys couldn't even wear one of your tuxedo t-shirts. I mean, I know each one of you have one.
Ben: Actually, there's just the one. We share.
Sock: It's a rotation
Devil: Yeah, it took a lot of elbow grease, a lot of limbs rent from a lot of torsos. But everybody started singling like canaries. Now Hell is sealed tight as a drum. And now, if I'm not mistaken, there's a demon about pitchfork deep in Mike's ass as we speak.
Sam: Mike was just in my elevator.
Devil: Not now, Winston, not now. I'm not gonna to lie to you, Sammy. I have some serious egg on my face. You know, I'm starting to feel that maybe torture isn't the way to get what you want, you know, like maybe people just tell you what you want to hear so that you stop pulling out their fingernails
Ben: Naked photos in a family album, Sock?
Sock: Yeah, Ben, that's what loving couples do, okay? Josie and I have enough photos of each other's junk to fill a library. Plus, Johnny Immigration will be so shocked he'll have no choice but to believe you guys are together.
Sara: That makes some sense.
Sock: Yeah, that's why I said it
Sam: My girlfriend.
Gladys: You don't look mentally defective. Do you have some sort of deformity?
Andi: You mean like horns sticking out of my head? No.
Gladys: I like her. Place the vessel on the mat.
Sam: I think you got official demon approval.
Andi: Ooh, that's going on my resume
Sam: Well, if you hate him so much, why don't you just take care of him yourself?
Devil: That's not my job. Me, devil. You, minion
