Reaper Season 1 Quotes
Greg: Dad was right. I make one boneheaded move after another. I failed my driving test 17 times.
Ben: Hey, everybody makes mistakes.
Greg: I sent money to six Nigerian princesses and I've never met one of them.
Sam: You're... you're trusting.
Greg: I made a pass at my stepmother!
Sam, Sock, Ben: Ewww
I'm not cut out to be a hit man. I saw my grandmother one time snap the neck of a chicken. I cried myself to sleep for a whole month
Ben
Sam: No matter what Greg does to Andi, he can't stop her loving me. I just have to remind her of that, I can't lose.
Sock: Back up. Andi loves you?
Sam: Well of course she does.
Sock :She said that?
Sam: I... not in words.
Sock: Okay, 'cause no offense, really, but I've known you for what, 14 years, and I only sort of like you. You can be pretty irritating. I'm sorry, but... see, 'cause I love these shoes. Love is a complicated emotion, Sam. Full of tingly feelings and frustration and anger
Sam: You keep vessels in mini storage?
Gladys: This is a portal to Hell.
Sam: Really? It doesn't look that evil.
Gladys: There are 13 bodies hidden in these units alone.
Sam: Okay
Sock: Oh, you know what? I'm a little relieved that Sara's bun didn't come out of my oven, if you know what I'm talking about.
Ben: How could it possibly be yours?
Sock: Well, Ben, let's just say I had a very vivid dream and leave it at that, okay?
Ted: I would like to start the staff meeting on a happy note. We have a little bit of exciting news.
Sock: You finally moved out of your mom's house
Chicks do not want sensitive, okay? They want a bad boy. They want someone who is going to break all the rules. Someone who will bang them on the back of a motorcycle and then not do the dishes
Sock
Ben: Think about it, Sam. Women don't always tell you when you screw up. They like to give non verbal clues.
Sock: i.e., making out with another dude
Ben: Was his face made up of human skin like in The Texas Chainsaw?
Andi: Ben, everybody's face is made of human skin.
Sock: That is so true
Gladys: I'm going to Acapulco next week, and I need someone to watch over my cat.
Sock: Okay, by cat do you mean cat, or do you mean some kind of dragon?
Next time I'm marrying for money, I'll charge triple
Ben
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called