The greatest weapon anyone can use against us is our own mind.

Emily

Come on down. Testosterone's on the house.

Nolan

Nolan: What are frick and frack doing here?
Jack: Getting loaded.
Nolan: And laid by the look of it.

Sometimes I wonder if having a second child was a mistake.

Victoria

I smell the distinct aroma of retribution in the air.

Nolan

Mommyzilla.

Charlotte

Family can be overrated.

Emily

Tyler: I'm pretty sure the ball was out.
Emily: I'm pretty sure you're lying.

My friends are important to me. Maybe if you were nicer to yours you'd still have some.

Charlotte

Nolan: You scare me.
Emily: Good.

Look on the bright side, you can party all summer and I'll be your designated driver.

Daniel

The only thing we know for sure is that you're a bad judge of women.

Victoria

Revenge Quotes

Only luddites use snail mail.

Nolan

Emily: I'm not leaving you alone, Nolan.
Nolan: I love you, too.