Scrubs Season 5 Episode 15: "My Extra Mile" Quotes
Janitor: Psst!
Carla: What?
Janitor: I need some advice. Which do you prefer?[holds up two neck ties]
Carla: What's the occasion?
Janitor: Me, wiping up gunk. I was cleaning Kelso's tie rack... I assumed I could have it. I find the Armani is very effective on urine, where as the Yves Saint Laurent is...
Turk: We have to all band together and agree not to be exploited by Dr. Kelso. From now on we'll only be judged by our skills and our abilities. Who's with me? That's right. That's right! From here on out, no more getting him coffee. No more washing his car... No more taking his son to local steam baths to meet men.
Todd: Well hey, you guys got him coffee.
Turk: I'm so sick of this. If the jobs were given to whoever's the best surgeon, I would get all three of those damn spots.
Elliot: It's the same on the medical side, I swear. The only reason I got that oncology rotation is because I let Dr. Morgan take me as his date to his brother's wedding.
Turk: Ricky Morgan?
Elliot: Mm-hmm.
Turk: He works in the cafeteria.
Elliot: What?
Turk: What...?
Attention surgical residents still hoping to have a job next year. The annual blood drive is upon us, and I will be needing a volunteer to greet our donors as the hospital's new mascot, the friendly hypodermic needle, Mr. Prick... We'll probably change the name.
Dr. Kelso
Hear that, Perry? I'm the most amazing doctor because I went the extra 5,280 feet. What's that? That's right, it's a mile!
J.D.
Well, right after I got your test results back, I got on the horn with your dad. We started a phone tree, to find everyone. Now, there were some tears, mostly mine, but we got it done.
J.D.
Carla: You're worried about what I can handle? Vascular surgery wants an update every two hours on bed one. I'm weaning Mrs. Jones' Dopamine from 10mgs to 5. Mrs. Myerson's abdominal wound is dehiscing, and Mr. Wilder's about to be turfed to psych because he thinks he's Flo from Alice.
Wilder: Kiss my grits!
Carla: Exactly, Flo. Exactly.
J.D.: Carla, can you cover my patients?
Dr. Kelso: She's already watching someone for me.
J.D.: Alright, I'll find somebody else.
Carla: Why, because I'm just a nurse I can't look after everybody?
Dr. Kelso: Precisely.
Carla: Sir, quick question?
Dr. Kelso: Make it very quick. I'm about to vomit.
Carla: Why was I told to drop everything and look after some new patient coming in?
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Sommers is the cousin of one of the trustees. Not important enough to warrant any face time with me, but connected enough that if one of these ding-dongs kills him it'll be my ass.
All day sucker my ass. Try twenty minutes.
Dr. Kelso
Dr. Cox: You know, in four and a half years, I've watched your pal Stephanie go through a multitude of irritating fads: the Ugg boots, the campaign for better grammar among the staff, and of course the double European air kiss. And seeing as how you two are sorority sisters, I was kind of hoping you'd be able to tell me when this extra mile crap is likely to end.
Turk: Oh, It's never going to end. He's relentless. Why do you think I was out Sunday morning buying comic books for my patient?
Dr. Cox: They were giving away free tasty-cakes at the comic book store? E-HA!... That used to work better when you were a fat load.
Turk: I know.
Dr. Cox: Damnit!
Dr. Cox: Look, Newbie. There's a reason I can't go the extra mile with patients. It's uh, something personal.
J.D.: You can confide in me.
Dr. Cox: I'm a good doctor.
