Scrubs Season 4 Episode 18: "My Roommates" Quotes
Ah, the intern car wash. Are you saving up so you can finally get those pec implants replaced?
Jordan
Dr. Cox: Guys, guys, guys. You've all been working here for two years. Now why do I have to keep teaching you the same stuff? I want to see you apply light pressure, small circles.
Lonnie: Can we take a break? The sun is scorching, and I'm very fair-skinned.
Dr. Cox: You've only been out here for eight minutes.
J.D.: What? When have I ever been all up in your space?
Flashback: Turk and Carla are taking a bath
Carla: This is nice.
Turk: Mm-hmm.
Show J.D. on the toilet next to them.
J.D.: Whooooo! Sorry about the twosie, guys.
End Flashback
J.D.: Huh. And here I thought that was a lovely evening.
J.D.'s Narration: The dance begins with a subtle hint.
J.D.: I am so pooped.
J.D.'s Narration: Step Two: Sashay her into sympathy.
J.D.: It's chilly out there.
Kylie: It is cold.
J.D.'s Narration: Finally, sweep her off her feet with your vulnerable cuteness.
J.D.: You know what I call this weather? Snuggle weather.
J.D.'s Narration: Tip the band leader and fluff up the pillows, because this dance is done.
Kylie: You should go.
Ron: You know, uh... I just wanna say that, uh, I'm gonna handle this kid situation so much better than you ever could.
Dr. Cox: Oh, give me a break. I would kick your ass in situation-handling. I'm a doctor, for God sakes. And, for the record, the Vegas odds-makers are makin' Coxy a heavy favorite.
Ron: Well, then, I would just bet on me and make a bundle.
Dr. Cox: You know what? I probably would, too.
Dr. Cox: Ron, there is no easy way to do this, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I think Nathan is autistic... And that's the real reason that I wanted to spend time with him today.
Ron: This is... this is unbelievable.
Dr. Cox: I know, but the good news here is that we found out early, so you can be as proactive as you-
Ron: No, no, no. You are unbelievable. I mean... you can't handle the fact that my kid is better than your kid at building blocks, so you tell me there's something wrong with him?! You know what, uh... why don't you just get the hell out of here, hmm?
Dr. Cox: That's just not gonna happen.
Elliot: I think it is so great that you're gonna talk to your friend. And I know it's gonna be hard, so if you need me, you just say the word and I will jump right in.
Dr. Cox: I need to talk to you about Nathan.
Ron: That little guy's my life.
Elliot: I've gotta go.
Kylie: Todd made you wear a banana hammock to bed?
J.D.: It was horrible. I kept imagining I was an Olympic diver.
Turk: Could you get me a towel so I could wipe this sweat from my head?
Carla: They're all dirty, okay? J.D. used to wash them.
Turk: It's so hot! When the hell is he gonna finish fixing the heater?!
Carla: It's okay! He's a professional - I'm sure he's almost done.
Janitor: This... should not have been removed.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I've got this one covered.
J.D.: Come on, you two are interracial best buddies. I, too, have a black best friend. Go out, enjoy it! Celebrate your uniqueness! I can do it!
Who needs a baby-sitter? I'll do it! You don't even have to pay me in cash, just pay me in hot showers. And you don't have to, like, wash me - unless you want to, but that could be weird. I don't know.
J.D.
Ron: So, why do you wanna baby-sit my kid? You think I can't handle my own kid?
Dr. Cox: No, that's not it at all. I think you're great with your kid. You're fantastic with your kid. In fact, in fact if you want, you can baby-sit my kid.
Ron: Are we really doing this? 'Cause I'll baby-sit the hell outta your kid.
Dr. Cox: Oh, bring it on, daddy.
