Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
J.D.: I just want you to check out Mrs. Barlow's chart; I'm always second-guessing myself when it comes to interstitial lung diseases.
Dr. Cox: Oh, then you should definitely handle this yourself, there, Britney. I'm going with female pop stars today. The point is that back when I was a resident, I had all sorts of trouble with metabolic diseases. You know what I did? I grabbed every case I could get my hands on until I had it down pat.
J.D.: Got it... You really had trouble with metabolic diseases?
Dr. Cox: Noo... I'm a good doctor.
J.D.'s Narration: Everyone here thinks they know me inside and out.
Female Staffer: You look like you could use some help.
J.D.: Nope.
J.D.'s Narration: Even random people.
Male Staffer: You need help, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: No thanks, Dr... whatever your name is.
J.D.'s Narration: They won't leave me alone.
Doctor: Free help, here.
J.D.: Piss off, Mickhead.
Turk: Oh, hello, Mr. Gallbladder. Don't you get too comfy next to Mr. Liver. Because here comes Dr. Turk's robot laser.
Dr. Wen: Hey, Christopher. I could do without the color commentary.
Turk: Why it gotta be a "color commentary"? 'Cause I'm doing it?
Carla: Um, what's up with the oatmeal today?
Dr. Cox: Too much milk.
Carla: No.
Dr. Casey: Not enough butter.
Carla: That's it!
Dr. Cox: Did you just diagnose the oatmeal? You can't just go sniff and diagnose the oatmeal.
Jordan: He just did. Kevin, are you single?
Dr. Casey: Yeah. Why, are you?
Jordan: I'm thinking about it.
Carla: Heh. Yeah, me too.
Dr. Cox: What-what in the hell... just happened? Just... J-What just happened!?
I believe the word you're looking for is 'holy crap'.
Dr. Casey
J.D.: You are unflappable.
Dr. Casey: It's true, I can't be flapped.
J.D.'s Narration: I think when rational men are forced to face their shortcomings they all do the same thing: Blame Kevin Casey! Who gave him the right to judge me? 'Cause I sure didn't! I'll give him a piece of my mind!
Dr. Casey: Nice place. It's got that great...vomit and peanut smell.
J.D.: Yeah... Reminds me of my first girlfriend. She was a carnie.
Ted: Mark my words! If one more person is mean to me for no reason, I'll do it!
Laverne: Shut up, bozo.
Ted: One more person. She didn't know the rules.
Ted: If people keep pushing me for no reason, I swear I will hurl myself off this building!
Janitor: I'm not cleaning you up.
Dr. Casey: J.D., do you wanna get a beer tonight?
J.D.: Do chickens wish they could fly?
Dr. Casey: I have no idea.
J.D.: I like to think they do.
Dr. Casey: So do I.
J.D.'s Narration: Luckily for Kevin, he was getting the chance to meet everyone around here.
Todd: See, the reason the X-Box joke should work is that "x-box" is like the perfect word for a girl's party zone!
Dr. Casey: Uh...."The Todd", is it?
Todd: Oh, yeah.
Dr. Casey: Can you go make a very important phone call for me?
Todd: To who?
Dr. Casey: To anyone.
