Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
You know, Benjamin, it's not a bad thing that you play with it, it's just that your mom wants you to take breaks for meals!
Dr. Norris
Dr. Norris: Is his temperature under a hundred-point-five?
Dr. Cox: Barely.
Dr. Norris: Eating, peeing, pooing?
Dr. Cox: Sometimes all at the same time. Come on, it's a really persistent cough. What do you say?
Dr. Norris: Office hours, tomorrow, 5 o'clock. Bye-bye.
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and put this in a language that you can understand. (puppet voice) You had better see my son now, or I'm gonna kick your ass.
Dr. Cox: Hello, David. I've been expecting you.
Dr. Norris: Agh!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I just thought I'd come by and play with some of your stuffed animals and, I know, I know, they're "for the kids", heh. Also, wanted to let you know that I will be bringing my son by this morning.
Dr. Norris: Yeah, I don't think so, there, chief. Where's Mr. Cookiepants?
Dr. Cox: Oh, que pasa?
Dr. Norris: I said, Where's Mr. Cookiepants!?
Dr. Cox: He's in a safe place, Dave.
Dr. Norris: If you touch one hair on his head, I swear to God I'll inject your kid with chickenpox!
Dr. Cox: No, you won't.
Dr. Norris: I know. For God's sakes, it's an innocent doll!
Dr. Cox: No, David. It's a collectible.
Dr. Norris: Whatever.
Elliot: The kid's a good doctor, he just... falls apart every time Kelso looks over his shoulder.
Sean: Well, why don't you just tell Kelso to back off?
Elliot: I-I've taken a lot of positive steps this year but when it comes to standing up to Kelso, I just... I can't get over that hump yet. He's like my white whale.
Sean: Yeah... Mine's Frank.
Elliot: Oh, no, I meant like in 'Moby Dick' - Kelso is a giant pain in my ass.
Sean: Oh. Well, thing is, I love Frank. Just... he can drive me crazy every now and then.
You be nice to the teacher, okay? I'm sleeping with him... Oh, my God! I haven't said that since college!
Elliot
Dr. Cox: Mmmmgh! Norris hasn't budged, and he just moved the appointment back to six, the rat-bastard!
Jordan: Watch your language in front of the kid, you stupid bicky-bicky!... You see, I am adapting. You, on the other hand, are behaving like a complete lunatic.
Jordan: Carla?
Carla: Hm?
Jordan: You're one of them bossy-pants types who always tells people their problems whether they ask for it or not, right?
Carla: I like to think I've learned when to hold back.
Jordan: You're in.
Carla: You've totally lost sight of what's important, here. You are a parent now, okay? You don't come first anymore-
Jordan: No.
Carla: You've got to do what's best for your son, even if it means sucking up to the one doctor on earth who's more obnoxious than you are.
Jordan: Well...
Carla: Oh, my God. I loved doing that so much, it makes my hand shake a little!
Elliot: So, how are your interns doing?
Doug: Hey, yeah, it still burns a little, but at least I can hear okay.
Dr. Kelso: Fantastic, sport. But that's the brachial artery and it's not how we draw blood. Now, if we need to inject him with heroin, you'll be the first one I call.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso...
Dr. Kelso: What is it, Dr. Reid? Do you have something to say?
Elliot: ...No.
Dr. Kelso: You know, son, you remind me of her so much, you're just a break-down in the supply closet away from being the same person!
J.D.: Look, Brian, if you're having that much trouble with your case report, I'd be glad to take a look at it for you, pal.
Brian: Cool. Try to have it back by 5.
J.D.: O...kay. I have a lot of things to do...but...
J.D.: S-sh-I don't care, Sean!
J.D.: Come on, Turk!
Turk: Hey. I just wanted you to know I don't have a problem with you, I just can't resist a good storm-off.
Sean: Oh, who can?
Turk: Think about it, man. Cox has taught you the most since you've been here, right? Do you really think he gives a damn whether you like him or not?
J.D.: I'd like to think so.
Dr. Cox: Out of my way, space-waster!
Turk: I felt the love.
J.D.'s Narration: Catch him and kick him in his junk!
