Sex and the City Season 1 Episode 12: "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" Quotes
Carrie: There he was, wearing Armani on a Sunday: Mr. Big. I'll admit it was a bit of a shock [to see him going to church]. Up until that moment I thought he only believed in the Yankees.
Charlotte: So, which church does his mother go to?
Carrie: Park Avenue Presbyterian.
Charlotte: Good church! It's one of the best on the East Side!
Carrie: What? Are you rating churches? Is there a Zagat guide for that?
Miranda: Four stars. Great bread. Disappointing wine selection.
Miranda: You wanna spend the night?
Skipper: The night, the whole night?
Miranda: Yea, the whole night.
Skipper: I knew we'd get back together.
Miranda: You did?
Skipper: Yep! Every night I'd light a candle and say a little pray.
Miranda: You're a freak!
Miranda: Let's not lose perspective here, there are ways to work around this.
Samantha: Well, I don't wanna work around it. I love a big dick, I love it inside of me, I love looking at it, I love everything about it. When I blow him, it's like, shrugs shoulders.....nothing
Miranda: Well, can you talk to him about it?
Samantha: It's the only thing we can't talk about.
Charlotte: How is he with his tongue?
Carrie: Oh, look we've all been there.
Miranda: That's for sure. I was once with a guy the size of those little miniature golf pencils, I couldn't tell if he was trying to fuck me or erase me.
(Carrie starts laughing and Samantha begins to cry)
Carrie: I'm sorry...it's just...it's funny.
Miranda: Don't beat yourself up, you had certain expectations, and your disappointed.
Samantha: Why? Why? Why does he have a small dick? I really like him.
Miranda: I thought you loved him?
Samantha: Well..shrugs shoulders
Samantha is crying
Carrie: What's going on, why are you crying?
Samantha: James has a small dick.
Carrie: Well, it's not the end of the world.
Samantha: It's really small.
Miranda: How small?
Samantha: Too small.
Carrie: Well, size isn't everything....
Samantha: Three inches.....
Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha: Oh, who the fuck cares! His dick is like a gherkin!
Charlotte: Hey, there you are, we've been looking for you everywhere.
Carrie: So how's everything?
Miranda: She means have you and James done it yet?
Carrie: He introduced me to his mother as a friend, she never heard of me.
Miranda: Maybe, they're not that close.
Carrie: Don't lie, you're in a church.
Miranda: Here they come, let's make a break for it.
Carrie: No, they saw me, I can't just pray and run.
Miranda: Look at how crowded it is, what a sham.
Carrie: Will you lighten up? It's a Presbyterian church, not a Catholic one.
Miranda: Whatever! Catholics, Buddhists, Shakers, Quakers, all the same, all design to fuck up our sex life.
Carrie (hands her a bible) Here pray.
Big: What relgion are you?
Carrie: I'm no one in particular, I'm open to all.
Big: Kinda, like a seven eleven.