Eliza: Bridge, I have to finish getting ready.
Bridgette: Well, you're wearing like four outfits. Why not just pick one of those?

It just chills you out, your mind gets really clear. Maybe you'll find panda.

Eliza's Sister

Bridgette: What's that?
Rafi: It's a muscleman mud run. What's that about?
Man: Wicked hot obstacle course. Alright? Raising money for the V.A., It beats slaving away at the gym. Right?
Rafi: I'm down for that.
Bridgette: Is it for dudes, only?
Man: No.
Eliza: Then, why did you only hand it to the guy?
Man: I didn't mean anything by it, I just liked the look of him. I figured he's into it. You're into it, right?
Rafi: Yeah, man, I do my thing. I hit it hard.
Bridgette: Did you not hand to my friend because she's a beautiful woman?
Eliza: And to my friend, because she has a kid?
Nelson: Or me, 'cos I'm fat.
Man: No, alright look, take these.
Bridgette: Pass.

  • Permalink: Pass.
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Bridgette: Come on, we gotta do it. It's the last one.
Eliza: No, we don't.

Tutu: Why are you wearing a suit?
Rafi: Because I'm taking Larry to get baptized and Bridge can't stop me.

Recruitment Consultant: What exactly are you looking for?
Bridgette: Anything really. You know, it's time for me to get serious, so hopefully, this temp thing will turn into something full-time.

Landlord: Bridgette please, I need your rent.
Bridgette: You wanna get high?

Recruitment Consultant: Moving on, do you have any special skills?
Bridgette: Yes... basketball.
Recruitment Consultant: You know, I think i might actually have an opening in prostitution.
Bridgette: As in, prostitution?
Recruitment Consultant: It's actually perfect for you. Make your own hours, pays great. Recession proof.
Bridgette: I dunno, do you have anything prostitution adjacent?

We're both lesbians, right?!


Bridgette: I'm really not that good of a tutor. I write some of their essays for them.
Ally: You're not supposed to do that.

The stuff they put in those vaccines is just poison. Government mind control!


I know chicken pox when I see it. You need to get that checked out.


SMILF Quotes

Tutu: I'm a bit worried about the baby with Rafi the relapser.
Bridgette: Mom, he's a great dad, he does bedtime every night.

I'm Bridgette, maybe we could go for a drink later.