South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Episode 14: "Chef Aid" Quotes
Mr. Garrison: I need some help over here! Please help, I think he's got third degree burns!
Doctor: Give the child to me!
Mr. Garrison: Is he going to be alright, doctor?
Doctor: Uh...
Mr. Garrison: Is he going to live?
Doctor: It's a stick.
Mr. Garrison: Dammit, don't give me that medical jargon! Just tell me straight! Is he going to be OK?
Stan: Chef wouldn't give up on us. How many times has Chef gotten us out of trouble?
Cartman: Four.
Howie ho, boys!
Elton John
Johnny Cochran: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a wookie from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about that; that does not make sense!
Gerald: Dammit!
Chef: What?
Gerald: He's using the Chewbacca Defense!
Johnny Cochran: Why would a wookie, an 8 foot tall wookie, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two foot tall ewoks? That does not make sense! But more importantly, you have to ask yourself, 'what does that have to do with this case?' Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
Well I'll be sodomized on Christmas!
(Singing) Stinky bitches. You've got stinky britches!
Cartman
