South Park Quotes

Cartman: Doctor, can you tell me exactly how stem cells work?
Doctor: Well you have trillions of cells in your body, heart cells, skin cells, brain cells and so on. But before a cell is designated as a toenail cell, or a pancreas cell, it's what we call a stem cell. Sort of like a blank cell, do you understand?
Cartman: Not at all, but go on.

Canadian Healthcare Administrator: It was a mistake.
His wife: What?
Canadian Healthcare Administrator: Trying to reform Canada's healthcare system and being too stubborn to admit it wasn't working. Even when my wife said the system was too complicated, I wouldn't listen.
His wife: Oh, Terry, I was just trying to get your attention. I'm sorry I queefed in your face.
Canadian Healthcare Administrator: I deserved it. Anyone who thinks streamlining healthcare into an integrated computer system would go smoothly deserves a giant queef in their face.