South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Episode 1: "Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus" Quotes
Terrance: What are you doing?
Scott: I am wishing cancer upon you.
Phillip: What?
Scott: I am giving you cancer with my mind.
Phillip: No, don't give me cancer!
Terrance and Phillip, you two are the most annoying dicks in Canada. I wish you both had cancer, in the head.
Scott
Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
Phillip: Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this? Of course not. So, in summation, find Terrance innocent... Or else he'll KILL you!
Phillip: Ha, ha! Just kidding!
Terrance: Wow! Scott really hates us, Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
(Terrance thinks)
Terrance: But we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?
Terrance: No! It's Sally. She's being held captive in Iran.
Phillip: Not Sally! Dear God, no, Terrance! Why Sally?! God, why?! Say, Terrance, who's Sally?
Terrance: Well, Scott said to meet him here, but he's not showing up!
(Phillip farts and they laugh)
Phillip: Well, while we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure?
Terrance: Oh. Good idea. Let's search for treasure.
(Phillip looks around, but Terrance ends up looking at his feet)
Scott: (arrives) What are you idiots doing?!
Terrance: We're looking for treasure!
Scott: Is that some kind of metaphor for a a kind of sex that can't be described?!
Phillip: No, we're searching for treasure.
Terrance: You are such a dick, Scott.
Scott: You're a dick.
Terrance: You're a dick.
Scott: You're a dick.
Terrance: You're a dick.
Scott: You're a dick.
Terrance: You're a dick.
Scott: You're a dick.
Terrance: You're a dick.
