Stan: I went ahead and got you some lunch.
Denise: Two beers??
Stan: Yeah. That's what I had for lunch.

• Permalink: Yeah. That's what I had for lunch.
• Added: November 15, 2017

Evie: Kevin, you expect us to believe us to believe that a baby did this to you?
Kevin: Yes.
Evie: But we don't.

• Permalink: But we don't.
• Added: November 15, 2017

Honey, honey, to be clear, we're not saying Kevin is a bad guy. He only kicked the shit out of himself and blamed it on a baby. Hell, for all we know, he's a true romantic at heart like that Fatty Arbuckle or that Sid and Nancy.

Stan

• Permalink: Honey, honey, to be clear, we're not saying Kevin is a bad guy. He only kicked the shit out...
• Added: November 15, 2017

Evie: So Aiden Braiden is feeding off of your affection. That means it sees Kevin as a threat to its food source.
Stan: Sounds like your normal asshole baby to me.

• Permalink: Sounds like your normal asshole baby to me.
• Added: November 15, 2017

Oh God. What is it? Smells like bouquet of horse penises.

Kevin

• Permalink: Oh God. What is it? Smells like bouquet of horse penises.
• Added: November 15, 2017