The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes
Sheldon [filling out medical form]: When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: Oh! Next question!
Sheldon: I'll put in progress
If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king... I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.... One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world.. and make the rabbits watch.
Raj
Wolowitz: There are two not-unattractive middle school teachers.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Wolowitz: Fifty, fifty-five.
Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.
I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.
Sheldon
"Sorry" doesn't make up for the fact that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy! Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice!
Raj
Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late to the movies.
Sheldon
But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
Wolowitz
That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?
Sheldon
Sheldon: Is that what you're wearing to watch football over at Penny's?
Leonard: What's wrong with a football jersey?
Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.
If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken
Sheldon
Wolowitz: Sheldon knows football?
Leonard: Apparently.
Wolowitz: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?
Raj: The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.
