All right, but if he's going to object to everything I say, maybe he can just use flashcards. Save the voice.

Nick

Pete: You got all that from a dirty fork.
Nick: That's why it's Morelli / Kaczmarek, Mr. Kaczmarek.

Illusionist: Thanks for coming. Tada.
Pete: Another trick!
Illusionist: It's the bill for the tickets.

Hi, Otis. Otis, I'm a lawyer. We lawyers don't taste very good.

Nick

Pete: Wow, this is a lot of guns.
Paul: A lot of freedom.

Pete: You're trying to sleep with the client.
Nick: I am not.
Pete: You're always trying to get on me for sleeping with clients and here you go.
Nick: Well, because you do sleep with clients.

Hooking up with Cole's sister? I mean what are you going to do, sit next to him for Thanksgiving dinner? "Hey Tommy, pass the yams."

Pete

Your honor, Otis is a bear. Otis is an orphan. His mother was shot to death by hunters.

Nick

Do not confuse my legal arguments with what I believe in. I have one purpose and that's keeping your grandson out of prison. That's the problems with you idealists. All you care about are your ideals. You ignore the people who are right in front of you. I care about Cody. Everything else is meaningless.

Pete

Tommy! Welcome to the lions den. I gotta hand it to you. I have a newfound respect for you. I would be freaking out if I knew that Nick was trying to sleep with my sister. What? I would be.

Pete

Bear? What, did you hug Coach Ditka after he puked on himself?

Pete

Nick: Pete, he's my pal. Teddy's my pal. I like the guy.
Pete: Sure you like him. Everybody likes him. He's the kinda guy who buys you Cuban Cigars, but here's the thing Nick. He can't afford Cuban Cigars. So if he bought you Cuban Cigars, he did it with my money. Which, technically, makes me your pal. Not him.