You go on with your life. File shit away, you don’t expect to ever have to deal with it again, and there they are, you know? Walking right back into your life, uninvited, just standing there. And they don’t even have the decency to get fat or unattractive or stupid or dull. And now they’re blonde! Fuckin’ blonde!

Susie Myerson

Susie Myerson: Are you serious?
Miriam “Midge” Maisel: I’m Antigone without the laughs.

Look, you started your career by getting up on a stage that no one told you to get up on, saying a bunch of shit no one wanted you to say. So, tits up.

Susie Myerson

Miriam "Midge" Maisel: We’re a Jewish household, so my son was circumcised a week after he was born. My daughter’s trauma will have to wait until she’s old enough to go clothes shopping with my mother.
Rose Weissman: Well, that’s fair.

Miriam “Midge” Maisel: Any animal -- what would you be?
Susie Myerson: Skunk.
Miriam “Midge” Maisel: Why?
Susie Myerson: Great fur, cute face, and your ass is a weapon!

Ladies and gentlemen, making her first but definitely not last appearance on The Gordon Ford Show, may I present the magnificent, the magical, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel!

Gordon Ford

I was born famous.

Lenny Bruce

Sometimes it takes falling in the shower for everything to become very clear.

Moishe Maisel

Mike Carr: I can feel your eyes burning a hole through my head.
Susie Myerson: You’re lucky I’m not staring at your balls.

God, I love a man who steals my food.

Miriam "Midge" Maisel

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Susie Myerson: Are you serious?
Miriam “Midge” Maisel: I’m Antigone without the laughs.

You go on with your life. File shit away, you don’t expect to ever have to deal with it again, and there they are, you know? Walking right back into your life, uninvited, just standing there. And they don’t even have the decency to get fat or unattractive or stupid or dull. And now they’re blonde! Fuckin’ blonde!

Susie Myerson