I had nothing to do with this, so I’ll just be the person who pats people’s arms.

Imogene Cleary

I actually think God is more of a brilliant marketing ploy.

Abe Weissman

What if we discover one day that we were always the ones in charge? Just… no one told us.

Miriam "Midge" Maisel

Believe me, honey, if there’s a hell, I’m the headliner.

Lenny Bruce