In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain; on a boat, who knows, it's nebulous.


You know what? I would save the receptionist. Just wanted to clear that up.


Michael: Now on this ship that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl: How about the sales department is the sails?
Michael: Yes Darryl, the sales department makes sales.

Jim: What a night.
Michael: Well it was nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim: She was always engaged.
Michael: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim: That's... great. [pauses] You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would've never put you two together. You really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that. [sighs] You know I made out with Jan?
Jim: Yeah, I know.
Michael: Yep, yep. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim: Yeah. She's really funny. And she's warm. And she's just— I dunno.
Michael: Well if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim: She's engaged.
Michael: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael: Never, ever, ever give up.

Katy: Do you think that will ever be us?
Jim: No.
Katy: What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?
Jim: I dunno. Let's break up.

Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight: I can't! Do you want us to run aground, woman?

Jim: What happened to you?
Michael: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.

Captain Jack: I need a volunteer to come up and hold my stick.
Dwight: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Ah. Usually it's a woman.
Dwight: I'm stronger.

Pam: Getting kinda rowdy down there.
Jim: Yeah. Darryl, Darryl, Darryl.
Pam: Sometimes I just don't get Roy.
Jim: Well...
Pam: Well, I mean, I don't know. So... What's it like dating a cheerleader?
Jim: Oh... um....
Pam: I'm cold.

Michael: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim: I'm not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam: I think you're thinking of The Hunt for Red October.

Last year Michael's theme was 'bowl over the competition.' So guess where we went.


Captain Jack: But I'm not only your ship's captain, I'm also your PARTY CAPTAIN!
Captain Jack: Michael, please.
Michael: And we are gonna... rock it!
Captain Jack: If you would just...
Michael: You are gonna put on your dancin' shoes later on! If the boat's rockin', don't come knockin'!

The Office Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

What is with the guy jumping overboard? If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now, and not all wet.


Dwight: Don't worry Michael, I'm taking us to shore!
Michael: It's a fake wheel, dummy!