The Office Season 5 Episode 27: "Cafe Disco" Quotes
Michael: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels. Ok. I think that I have figured a way to get you guys out of your funk.
Pam: What?
Michael: Funk is the problem and the solution.
Jim: That makes sense.
Charles really did a number on these guys. They are way too focused on work. When I was in charge, this place was like Dave and Buster's People just hanging out, having, fun, eating apps. I don't know. It's like [pause] Dave died or something.
Michael
Guys, I believe that I have figured out what is up your butts. There's no reason to be scared. The bad man is gone. Charles is gone.
Michael
Erin: Michael? Michael sorry to bother you. Are you going to be working down here? Do you want these down here now?
Michael: No work. No work. No work. I come in here to release frustration. Ooh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ooh.
Erin: Well, I like to swim.
Michael: That's good.
Erin: You have a cool place to come hang.
Michael: If you ever want to come down here, door's always open, lock's broken, so...
Erin: Thanks.
Michael: Come on in. Hey, hey, hey. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah.
Erin: Wow.
Michael: Now you got it.
Erin: Now I do got it.
Michael: Now you got it. Hey, you want some espresso?
Erin: Oh, yeah.
Michael: You gotta keep yourself dehydrated.
Erin: That's rule #1.
Michael: Ok. I love it. I love it.
Erin: Whew.
Michael: I love it.
Jim: There are other reasons to go to Ohio.
Pam: We're getting married today.
Jim: So, it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a 3 day waiting period.
Pam: Tell 'em how it happened.
Jim: Ok. So, we're going through all the wedding plans and, boy, it is complicated.
Pam: And very expensive.
Jim: Very expensive. Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great but then you have to invite -
Pam: You can't leave anyone out.
Jim: No one.
Pam: Ok, just get to the good part.
Jim: Ok. Right. Oh, so this morning we are having breakfast together and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, " You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you."
Pam: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
Erin: Hi, guys. How you doing?
Dwight: Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.
Erin: Right. I'm sorry.
Dwight: [sighs] Now, how can I help you?
Erin: Did somebody here leave a map in the printer to Youngstown, Ohio?
Dwight: Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court -
Pam: So someone is going to a court. Big deal.
Dwight: It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.
Erin: Sure.
If you don't take out his battery, he just keeps going all day.
Pam
Michael: Ok. Anyone? Anyone? At all? Accounting? I am accounting on you to go to lunch with me.
Angela: No. I don't want to stay late to have a two hour lunch.
Phyllis: Michael, we have a lot of work to do.
Michael: What?
Phyllis: Work.
Michael: Ugh! God! What happened to you people? [talking like a robot] We are just office drones. We are office drones. All we do is work... is work.
Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that food is one thing I can control.
Ryan
Michael: Who else? Who else? Ryan?
Ryan: I don't do lunch. I'm eating five small meals a day now.
At Dunder-Mifflin there is a very strict no lunch with the boss policy and I don't know who instituted it. I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down, but at the Michael Scott Paper Company I really enjoyed having lunch with Pam and Ryan everyday. So, rules be damned, I wanna have lunch with these people.
Michael
Michael: Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant. Because look at this normal sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now. Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on?
Dwight: I do.
Michael: Okay. How about a woman? Pam?
Pam: Oh, I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an email. Jim and I need to leave early today to meet with our contractor.
Michael: Oh, really? Ok.
Pam: Just sent it.
Michael: What about the rest of you?