The Office Quotes
Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
Roy: Well, what is your type?
Jim: ... Moms, primarily. Yup. Soccer moms. Single moms. Nascar moms. Any type of mom really.
Kevin: Stay away from my mom...
Jim: Too late, Kev.
Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land!
Michael
Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder-Mifflin in the '80s before people knew how bad cocaine was... gahhhh, man did they move paper!
Michael
Ryan: [helping clean out Michael's car] What about this bottle of power drink on the back seat.
Michael: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael: Blue is not a flavor.
Ryan: It says: "Flavor: Blue Blast."
Michael: Ooh, Blue Blast. Put that in the left cup holder...
Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.
Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.
Michael: Oh, yeah right.
Phyllis: I'll do it.
Michael: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing.
My fiancé has plans for us this Saturday, so I really hope Dwight doesn't make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him.... I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.
Pam
Michael: I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Dwight: Gimli.
Michael: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.
Michael: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mis-da Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Dwight: So, we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that that should be... Jim.
Jim: God this is so sad. I think this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to somebody's head.
Pam: Please don't throw garbage at me.
Michael: Pam with the zinger!
