Andy: Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.
Dwight: Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Andy: Better a cappella!
Dwight: No! Really?
Andy: Yeah. Name another.
Dwight: Enter Sandman, Metallica.
Andy: Better a cappella.
Dwight: Rebel Yell, Billy Idol
Andy: Aw!! Way better a cappella
Dwight: Really?
Andy: Yeah.

Who would have thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes? In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But, we have people with the biggest hearts. And I think for a small company that is really [flushing] Someone went to the bathroom. That is really what's important.


Pam: And I guarantee, that you will be satisfied! 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee! We guarantee it. We look forward to doing business with you too. Thank you Russell.
Michael: Yes!
Pam: I made a sale!
Ryan: Oh!
Michael: You did!
Pam: Oh!
Michael: Oh yeah!
Ryan: We did it!
Michael: She did it!
Michael: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Creed: These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Michael: These are shaped like paper.
Creed: Well I don't even want these. [Takes rectangle pancakes out of his coat]
Meredith: I'll take them for my kid.

Jim: There's the rundown you asked for. I may have expanded some areas that you weren't prepared for.
Charles: Great. Fax that to everyone on the distribution list.
Jim: Yeah sure. You want to look at it first?
Charles: Do I need to?
Jim: No. No, I just wanted to make sure, it was in the same format. So that distribution list is gonna be my...?
Charles: What's that?
Jim: The one I have. I'll use the one I have.

Michael: Get your free pancakes. They are delicious. They are nutritious. They are complimentary. Young sir, would you like a free pancake?
Ryan: I'm texting. I don't want to get my fingers sticky.
Michael: Ryan, enough with the texting machine. Come on. And tuck in your shirt, you're the face of this company.

Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.


I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit longer if that's okay. The air smells so good. I don't remember it smelling so good. The chairs are so comfortable.


Pam: Hey Charles.
Charles: Hey Pam.
Pam: I know you're a very busy man so I'll cut right to the chase. I'd like my old job back.
Charles: I don't know what to tell you. The job's been taken.
Pam: Um, well, I could come back as a salesman. I have experience now.
Charles: Um.
Pam: Or I could come back as your personal assistant. You know? Sort your mail, set your appointments. I know all the people.
Charles: Yeah I know.
Pam: Personal shopper?
Charles: No.
Pam: Well it was great catching up with you. And I'll see you around the building.
Charles: Okay.

Michael: That's my corner.
Pam: I thought that was your corner.
Michael: No, this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work.
Pam: So my corner's the one with the copier?
Michael: Pam, I don't make the rules.

[on phone] Last night was crazy. Jojo? Yeah. He did a donut in a parking lot in front of a cop. And then he yells, "Hey cop, you like donuts?" then we drive off. No, he just stayed there.


Jim: Hey dude, you know what a "rundown" is?
Oscar: Use it in a sentence.
Jim: "Uh, can you get this rundown for me?"
Oscar: Try another sentence.
Jim: "This rundown better be really good"?
Oscar: I don't know but it sounds like the rundown is really important.
Jim: Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients.
Oscar: Why don't you just ask him-
Jim: No. I can't. It was like, hours ago.
Oscar: What have you been doing?
Kevin: Try it in another sentence.

The Office Season 5 Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.


When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.