What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.

Michael

Unrated
Character:
Michael Scott
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 1: "Weight Loss"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Michael Scott Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.

Andy

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
[cut to interview]
Creed: That wasn't a tapeworm.