If I was not going to kill you, I would give you some advice.

Teleya

Mercer: Did you feel anything at all?
Teleya: No
Mercer: It was just your mission. To get close to me.
Teleya: That is correct.
Mercer: Man, I liked you a lot better when you were using contractions.

Teleya: Lt. Tyler was designed to be the ideal Union officer and the perfect lure.
Mercer: Well done.
Teleya: It was not difficult. You are simplistic and easily manipulated.

Grayson: First, you'll need a medical and psych evaluation. I'll tell Dr. Finn to expect you.
Malloy: Thank you, Commander. I won't let you down. Future captain right here!
Bortus: He will fail.

Grayson: Tharl driving you crazy too?
Bortus: He does not stop talking and he makes loud noises when he consumes food. He comes to the mess hall wearing...SANDALS.

Mercer: What are you, Jane Goodall?
Grayson: Yeah, and you're the primate.

I see the way you smile when she walks onto the bridge. I know your smiles. You have fifteen. Three are for happiness, eleven are passive-aggressive, and one is for being in love. I've seen it before, y'know.

Grayson

Mercer: She's cool. She's smart. She's funny. She checks every box. I've never met a woman who checked every box.
Malloy: You said Kelly checked every box.
Mercer: Yeah, well I got more boxes now. She checks those too.

Remember, you're dating a cartographer. I know all the best vacation spots.

Tyler

I don't know you. I never even tried to know you.

Ildus

Malloy: Are you going to be okay?
Ildus: Alara took care of it.
Malloy: She always does.

Bam! Taking the tube to Tummy Town.

Lt. Tharl

The Orville Season 2 Quotes

Mercer: Y'know what the worst days are, Olix? The days when you can't stay busy. No Krill confrontations. No spatial anomalies. Just nothing going on. And all your thoughts just march inward.
Olix: So most days.

Mercer: How long you had that thing?
Bartender: I had the computer replicate it last week. I'm trying to warm the place up a little bit, y'know? Get a nice vibe going.
Mercer: The late-night-jazz-depressed-guy-at-the-bar vibe? I can help you with that.